


A Loyal Traitor

by Laratjuhh



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abusive work relationship, Famous Liam, Famous Louis, Famous Zayn, M/M, Masturbation, Non-Famous Harry, Non-Famous Niall, closeting, famous/non-famous
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2018-04-17 02:24:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4648668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laratjuhh/pseuds/Laratjuhh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>What do you do when the person suffocating you is the only one making you feel like you can breathe again?</i><br/> </p><p>Louis Tomlinson, 23, is at the height of his singing career, and he absolutely loves his job. What he doesn't love is his public image and the outrageous stunts his team makes him do out of spite. Harry Styles, a photographer often hired by Louis' management/PR firm, is polite and gentle and way too happy about his job, and Louis tries to resist his charms with all his might. He can't fall for the very person selling him out to the press.</p><p>Niall has been Louis' best friend since they were little, and he is the only one keeping him grounded. </p><p>Zayn&Liam are an R&B duo - who are publicly dating - with great connections and an even greater fanbase.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That's the closet for you

'Louis Tomlinson!'

Louis still loves seeing his name on advertisements, hearing fans say his name in excitement on the street, seeing himself in newspaper headlines. Louis still loves all the attention, even after five incredible years. 18-year-old him would have never thought he'd make it this far, but Louis is very glad that 18-year-old him decided to put himself out there and make sure his voice got heard. Literally.

And what an incredible voice he has, he knows now. He used to be unsure of it, back when he still sang in pubs and small cafés, used to doubt his abilities. Right now, though, he knows he can do amazing things. The way his fans scream for an encore, the way they fall silent during certain parts, and the way Louis has even managed to reduce them to tears, tells him he's good. Right now he's proud of his voice, his career, and his perseverance. 

He used to talk about it all the time when he was little. He used to tell anyone who would listen that he loved to sing and that he would make it big when he was older. He took singing lessons when he was thirteen, hoping someone would think he stood a chance. His family loved him very much and would support anything he did, but still, hearing someone tell him he could do it meant everything to Louis. 

Louis signed up for open mic nights and he did small gigs until one night there was an artist manager there with a pal from a label who saw his talent and wanted to sign him. Louis' world was turned upside down overnight, and suddenly he had a career and a record deal at just eighteen years old.

He loves to sing. It makes him feel happy and free, like he can do anything. He has a way of channelling his energy through concentration when he sings, making him feel things he hadn't known were possible. Performing is arousing to him. On stage, Louis is free, and it makes him let go of all his restraints and inhibitions in a way he only knows from having sex with someone you trust. 

Sadly, that freedom is limited to his stage time only, and even then he has to be careful about what he says. Ever since he stepped into the spotlight and got signed with his current management team, he has been closeted harshly. His label doesn't give a fuck about his sexual orientation, but his management team wants him straight as an arrow and desirable to straight young girls. 

Louis just wants to be himself, so about a year ago he went looking for a management team that would want to take him on and let him come out. The transition is still months away, but at least Louis now has something to look forward to on that front. The closet is suffocating to him. He always has to hide his flings and one-night stands, he has to outright lie about his whereabouts and pursued interests, because his team has actually given him a list of things that would classify as 'stereotypically gay' and he therefore cannot do. Louis absolutely hates his closet, and he hates his team for forcing him into it. 

Of course, legally, he could have declined. At the time, though, there wasn't any other company interested in him and his team told him they wouldn't put any effort into an openly gay act, because they thought he wouldn't make as much money. They basically told him he would be of less worth gay than straight. 

There was one thing Louis cared more about back then than the public definition of his sexuality, and that was doing what he loved most, so he decided to sign. He also vowed to himself right then and there, that if he made it and the opportunity would come, he would get another company as soon as possible. 

So that's what he did. Louis made a deal with a different management company and now the time is almost there that he can say goodbye to his closet. He doesn't think he'll miss it, but he still has to conform to the status quo for another few months, and today is one of the bad days. 

“Louis, hi, we have a stunt lined up for you.”

Louis sighs. “Why?”

“To assure your straight image.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. They're so insensitive. They literally don't care about his feelings at all. He's just a machine to them. “Well what is it?”

“There's someone coming over later today, she's blonde and tall and everything you need.”

“What I need is a stable relationship with a boy I love,” Louis says icily. He's so fed up and he stopped holding his tongue long ago.

“Louis, listen, and don't start the drama. Time is money and you're not helping anyone.”

“I'm helping meself feel better by not blindly agreeing to this bullshit. You need me more than I need you at this point, you know.”

“Don't we know it. But you already betrayed us so you should be happy we're doing anything at all for you.”

“It's in your fucking contract. I'm not the only one who signed.”

“Shut up and listen.”

Louis rolls his eyes at the hostile tone. These stunts aren't even serving a purpose, promotion wise. The only thing they do is tell his direct fanbase that he's straight, but nothing else. It's not helping his career at all.

“So this girl is coming over, plain girl but gorgeous, you entertain her for an hour and she leaves while you see her off. Photos will be taken by Styles Photography, a new one since you scared the last one off. The girl will be at your door at three o'clock, the photographer half an hour later. Phillip will be there to give you directions. I want you to behave. Are we clear?”

“We're clear. Thanks for telling me in time, I have at least two hours. That must be a new record. Oh wait, I don't have a new record, because you arseholes are holding that back out of spite. And this girl, does she even have a name or are women actual pieces of meat to you lot?”

“I suggest you calm down before your stunt,” is the only answer Louis gets before the line clicks.

Louis takes one, two, three deep breaths before he decides to call Niall. At least Niall will listen to him. Niall has been his best friend since he was four years old, and has always stood by his side. Louis loves Niall, they're like brothers. 

Niall picks up on the first ring. “Tommo!” He sounds so cheerful.

“Nialler. Can I talk to you?”

“Sure! What's up?”

“They're making me do another one of those dumb stunts, Ni. I can't take it any more, the way they talk to me is vile. I'm less than human to them because I happen to like boys. And they know I hate these chick parades, that's exactly why they make me do them. Ever since I told them I have a new team coming in, they have done everything I hate just to taunt me. I'm so done with them. Can you cheer me up, babe?” Louis pouts.

Niall chuckles softly. “Of course. Do you want me to come over? We'll play tag or something, get your mind off of the bullshit.”

“Play tag? I don't think I've played that since I was like fourteen. You have the most amazingly wonderful ideas. Yes. We'll play tag. Let them document that instead of this stupid stunt.”

Niall cackles. “I know, I'm brilliant. I'll be over in twenty.”

“Thanks, Ni. See you in a bit.”

“Bye babe.”

Louis sighs. Niall always knows how to cheer him up, no matter his mood, so he stops sulking.

When Niall comes over, it's fun and it makes Louis forget about his troubles. Niall is still there when the girl for the stunt comes over with a handler, to make sure Louis does what's expected of him. He introduces himself, and learns that the girl's name is Anna. He's nice to her, but he refuses to let Niall go when his handler tries to make him leave. Niall, of course, sides with Louis. 

The photographer is early, and Louis refuses to open the door for him. There aren't even photographers allowed in this neighbourhood. No paparazzi, anyway. It's a gated community, closed off from the outside world. His grumbling doesn't help, though, as Louis' handler lets the tog in anyway. Louis ignores him (which is hard to do since he apparently has a really deep and alluring voice that rings through), but then the man insists on introducing himself to everyone, shaking their hands. 

“Hi, Harry Styles,” he says to Louis.

Louis looks up at him for a moment (on his best behaviour, really; you can't expect much from someone who knows this will lead to the most ridiculous headlines in the tabloids tomorrow, slandering him for hooking up with every girl he sees and not caring about any of them), mutters his name and averts his eyes, turning his attention back to Niall. Shit. Harry's quite pretty and he seems nice. Under any other circumstance Louis would try flirting with him. 

Niall is slightly nicer to Harry and Louis almost scolds him for it, but decides against it. Niall is the only one actually on his side here, he'd better keep him there. 

Louis sighs instead. “Niall, Anna, Harry, would any of you like something to drink?”

Niall giggles and Louis pinches his side, but he can't help the grin creeping upon his face. When Niall follows him to the kitchen, he whispers his plan to him.

“What if I physically hold on to you the entire time they're taking pictures? They won't be able to use them. Good idea?”

Louis contemplates that for a while. “Yeah, that would be ace. Thanks, Nialler.”

Louis completely ignores his handler the entire time, and he only acknowledges Harry and Anna when he really needs to. He makes it clear that he's not on board with stunts like this one, and while Anna seems to understand she needs to leave him be, somehow Harry doesn't get the memo. He keeps on chattering brightly, occasionally asking Louis questions. Louis doesn't want his attention, not under these circumstances. He just wants him to go away, since Harry is going to be the one selling him out to the press. 

It only takes five minutes for Louis to say: “Harry, I'm going to need you to shut up now.”

“Only if you ask me nicely,” Harry says, smiling.

“Why the fuck are you smiling? You're not even welcome here!” Louis exclaims. 

Harry simply shrugs. “Shall we start, then? Then I can go bother someone else.” He says it like it's his favourite thing to do, cheeks still dimpling and looking at Louis with joy in his eyes. Louis frowns at him and hopes that when Harry does leave, he never comes back. No matter how fit he is.

“Okay, so we'll do arrival first. Just walk up to Louis, Anna, and hug him. Louis, you better cooperate.”

Louis puts on his best stank face to express his disgust – not particularly at hugging a woman, but at having to do it under these circumstances – and hopes this will all be over soon. He can feel a headache coming up and he's on the verge of crying because it's all so unfair. Niall clings to him like he promised, making it a three-way hug. It's awkward and uncomfortable, but it makes Louis a tad less irritated. Louis' handler, however, doesn't think it's funny.

“Niall, let go of Louis. What are you trying to achieve?”

Niall shrugs. “No. You can't make me. Louis isn't doing anything wrong and I'm just hugging him. I'm under no obligation at all to obey you.”

Louis could honestly kiss Niall. He catches Harry looking at them curiously, though, and decides against it, even though he's not entirely sure why. He wouldn't be kissing his best friend on the mouth anyway. Louis wonders why he's even letting Harry get to him. Why is he policing his interactions with his best friend, simply because there's some handsome and disgustingly chipper photographer present, making his life difficult? In an act of defiance he does kiss Niall on the cheek. Niall, sweetheart he is, kisses him right back and they beam at each other for a moment, until Louis' handler clears his throat.

“If you're done with your antics, _again_ please.”

So Louis kisses Niall's cheek again, making Harry giggle. Fucking hell, why must he giggle? And why must his giggle be so attractive? Louis glares at him, but he doesn't quieten. Instead, he only laughs harder. 

“Actually, that is a good idea,” Louis' handler says. “Anna, can you kiss him on the cheek when you hug please?”

Anna nods and Louis feels like hitting something. Instead, he feels Niall grab onto him a little tighter, and it grounds him. He's so thankful for Niall, the only one who knows him inside out and upside down. The only one who will be there for him whenever, because they grew up together and they know exactly what the other needs. Louis knows Niall feels the same way.

“Louis, could you please turn slightly to your right?” Harry asks before Anna can hug him again. 

Louis narrows his eyes at Harry, not understanding why he would request that. It means Niall, who is on his left side, is more in view of the camera, and Louis doesn't trust anyone working with his team. On the other hand, it's also the first time that day that Harry isn't smiling obnoxiously like he's never going to stop, which makes him slightly less aggravating. Louis honestly felt like Harry was laughing at his expense before. Now that he's almost serious, Louis is contemplating paying some form of attention to him.

“Please?” Harry asks again, and Louis realises he hasn't moved and only stared at Harry while trying to figure him out. 

Louis turns and Harry's dimpled smile returns. Louis groans internally; there he is again with that smug and happy face. Louis can't stand it. He frowns at Harry and doesn't change his expression for the new hug. Then Louis, Niall and Anna walk inside, Niall still clinging to Louis. Harry snaps pictures of it, and the stunt supervisor comes in to change Anna's appearance. 

He unties her hair and ruffles it so it's wilder, he puts some extra blush on her cheekbones and tells her to act like she's slightly out of breath. It almost makes Louis want to vomit. They're actively implying that he had sex with her, or at least a heavy make-out session. Someone he barely even knows, regardless of his orientation. They're implying he'd give a total stranger his address, have her come over for sex, then send her on her way again. It's vile, and Louis has to actively swallow the venom he wants to spew. He's absolutely, one hundred percent done with his team. 

That's why when Louis went looking for a new management team to work with, his first and most important request was that he'd be able to come out as gay, boyfriend or no boyfriend. He doesn't want people to think he's a careless womaniser when in fact he's the complete opposite. He cares about women and even if he had been into girls, he'd never treat them like that. But Louis isn't into girls and he'd love nothing more than to come out to the world and show his fans (and anyone else willing to listen) who he really is and what he stands for. He wants to help queer people struggling with themselves and the people around them. He wants to do so much, but he can't because he has been given shitty narratives moulding him into an even shittier public persona. Louis absolutely hates it.

His new team promised him that he would have to choose: either tough out his time under his current contract with his current management, or go to court and try to sue them. He chose the safer option, the first one, because he talked with three different lawyers and he's still not sure he has legal cause to sue. That means that now he has to deal with his management team being not only shitty at their job in general, but also wanting to spite him, and they know that the most effective way to do that is to nail Louis' closet even tighter shut.

The other thing they did was tell him they wouldn't promote his new album anymore, making Louis postpone the release date. Since he wasn't changing label he could do that, but it showed Louis just how much they hate him at his management bureau. They're willing to give up on all the money they could still make off of him, just to thwart him. Their hatred for Louis and his queerness runs deeper than their love for money. It's sickening. The few things that do get done are because his label is pressuring them, but apparently it isn't enough for an entire album.

So they make him do stupid stunts like this one. Louis isn't nice to anyone at this point, he knows that. He can't bring himself to be nice to the people actively closeting him further, when all he wants to do is kick his closet to the curb. He scared away the last freelance photographer his team sent to work with him, because he was rude and uncooperative. Now they sent him a fucking angel straight from heaven, doing the devil's job. They're truly evil. 

That's why Louis cannot be nice to Harry. Harry could have been everything he wanted, but right now, he's everything Louis doesn't want. Louis knows his team isn't going around hand-picking photographers, they just take whoever is willing to do the job, but Harry Styles standing right there in Louis' living room, is too much of a wet dream to Louis to be coincidental. 

Louis knows he will probably jerk off tonight to the thought of Harry's beautiful curls and gorgeous smile. He'll probably imagine those huge hands working him over and he may even whimper his name. He'll be angry, though. He'll be angry the entire time.

It doesn't help that Harry seems to be actually interested in Louis' story and is trying to be nice and considerate. If anything, it aggravates Louis even more. Harry also seems to be fun and sweet and very passionate about his job. The contradictions are agony to Louis, because he would kind of like to ask Harry how he came to be a photographer and what inspired him, but he doesn't want anything to do with someone so indirectly passionate about closeting him. 

“Louis, come on, next part,” his handler finally shouts, effectively stopping his inner battle. Louis grumbles and follows him, Anna and Harry outside. Niall is right by his side, once again holding on to him and Louis is endlessly grateful that he is there.

For the goodbye, they want Anna to hold Louis' hand and softly kiss his cheek, as if they have indeed just shared a small space, lying on top of each other. Louis puts on his biggest frown and he rigidly holds his fingers spread, making it impossible for her to hold his hand properly and make it look natural. 

Suddenly he hears Harry giggle, and Louis turns to look at him. He is confused for a moment because the sound of Harry's giggle is so endearing and part of him wants to make him laugh again, but then he realises why he's laughing in the first place, and that's Louis' lack of cooperation. He glares at Harry until the smile falls off his face and he looks slightly shocked.

Niall, who can feel that Louis tenses up, rubs his back and tries to soothe him, whispering reassurances in his ear. Louis knows they're probably not all true, they can't be, but he'll take it. At least his best friend is there for him, unlike the other three people present.

When Harry collects himself, he takes some more photos, and Louis can feel his head pounding by now. All the stress is giving him a headache, and he really needs to go take a nap and try to forget about what's going to happen tomorrow. 

Sometimes Louis wonders why he lets it all get to him that much. He knows shit will blow over and he'll be clean in a few weeks once his transfer is over. It doesn't take much at all to change his public persona, since he's nothing special. It's just that he's very passionate about the job he's supposed to do, which is sing and make albums. He absolutely loves that, but it's being taken away from him by the very people who should be protecting him and his career. 

Everything they throw at him hurts more and all Louis wants to do is run, escape. He's happy there's relief on the horizon, but he still has to go through all this pain with almost no one by his side. That reality hits him hard every time. 

Louis' handler, and he honestly doesn't bother with names because there are too many to keep track of and none of them are willing to help him, and Anna disappear as soon as the stunt is over. Harry lingers a bit, and Louis knows what he wants, but he can't help him. He refuses to.

“Look, Harry, I'm not telling you my entire background story or why I'm such a twat of a client. It's none of your business and I'd much rather you fuck off because you're one of the worst players in this game.”

“I didn't know publicity was a game, but if you say so,” Harry says, smiling. Maybe he's trying to get a laugh out of Louis. He isn't getting it.

“This isn't any good publicity. It's bullshit.”

“Why? Fabricated flings and relationships are very common, you know. It doesn't have to be bad for you, it can help promote something.”

“Don't try to tell me how this industry works, please, because I know way too much and it almost makes me wish I never fell into it. Please just go home.”

“What is it you're promoting?”

“Didn't you hear what I just said? Go home. I don't want to talk to you. Am I clear?”

“Yes. I'll go, I'm sorry. I was just trying to help you.” Harry's smile actually falters and he sounds slightly dejected. Louis doesn't feel sorry for him.

“I don't need your help when you're the one releasing this shit to the press in a few hours. Goodbye.”

Harry sighs. “Goodbye. Stay strong, though.” 

And with that, Harry finally leaves. Louis decides not to dwell on the 'stay strong'. He doesn't care what Harry wants him to do, and he much less needs his advice.

“Nialler, will you come cuddle with me? I need to lie down, me head's about to split in two.”

“Yeah, of course. Do you want some painkillers?”

“Nah, I'll be good after a nap. 'S just the stress.”

“Okay, babe.”

Niall leads the way to Louis' bedroom and lies down on Louis' bed after taking off his shoes. Louis curls up on Niall's stomach, feeling safe and protected. He closes his eyes and tries to stop the world from spinning behind his eyelids. He feels Niall softly press a kiss to his hair and Louis sighs.

“Niall, you're the sweetest person alive, I swear.”

“I know.”

“Thank you for helping me.”

“Anytime, babe. 'S what friends are for.”

Louis drifts off easily with Niall softly telling him how brave and strong he is. Louis almost believes it, and it's enough to make him relax. He wakes up an hour later and Niall's playing games on his phone. Louis' head feels lighter without the headache. He lightly kisses Niall's cheek and sighs contentedly.

“Hello, sleeping beauty,” Niall says.

“Hi. You staying over for dinner?”

“I'd love to, but I have a date tonight.”

“Oooh, who with?”

“'M not telling you. Don't want to jinx it.”

“Aah, come on, you can tell me!”

“No.”

“Please?”

Niall sighs. “Okay I'll tell you. A girl I met at work the other day. She's an intern and really cute. She asked me out but I don't really know her so I hope I do like her.”

“Aww, my little Nialler is growing up. Well, good luck on your date, then.”

“Thanks, I actually do need to go. I was gonna wake you up in ten minutes anyway.”

“Oh, okay. Have fun, Ni.”

“Thanks, babe. See you tomorrow.” 

And with that, Niall is out the door. Louis sighs and lies back down, and his mind wanders to Harry. Harry might have been a twat about his work when it was clearly no fun to Louis, but he was definitely really fit and exactly the type of guy Louis would go for. 

Harry was also obscene. The shape of his lips, the depth of his voice and the size of his hands… Louis had been thinking of a few uses for those sinful features of him. Even now, with Harry nowhere in sight, Louis' dick twitches at the thought. Louis opens up the button and zipper of his trousers, vaguely wondering if he should do this. He decides that it doesn't matter, and he proceeds to slide his trousers and his pants down to his thighs. He rolls up his shirt to play with his nipples until they're puffy and red. 

By now he's half-hard and with a whimper, Louis sits up to reach for his lube in his night stand. He uses it to slick up his cock and he imagines that it's Harry doing it with his giant paws. He also imagines what Harry's muscles would look like flexing with the movement of jerking him off. Harry was very buff. Alternating between quick and slow strokes, Louis jerks himself off with his eyes closed, thinking about that beautiful dickhead of a photographer who's got him all worked up now. 

Louis isn't sure he's turned on enough to come at first, but after a while he thinks about Harry's thighs and how he'd like to fuck them, and it does things to his head. Louis starts thrusting up into his fist and with his other hand he starts teasing his nipples again. After that, it doesn't take long until he's coming, spilling over his hand and his stomach. He takes a moment to collect his breath, before he shucks off his clothes and heads for the shower. As he washes off his sweat and come and the general frustrations of the day, he vows to forget about Harry. At least for now.


	2. Eye for an eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and welcome to A Loyal Traitor. I hope you're enjoying the story so far, because I certainly am.  
> Have fun reading. xxx
> 
> (Names of places are fictional. Any correlation with a real place is coincidence.)

Louis takes a deep breath before opening his social media. He doesn't even bother with Twitter, but he thinks he can handle Instagram and Facebook. It doesn't take long until he sees the first horrible comments, telling him that he is a sexual predator or a sex maniac. He hasn't even seen any of the articles yet, and he wants to go back to bed and sleep until this is all over. Of course, that's not possible, and ignoring it won't make it go away. His best chance is to know what evil he's fighting.

Louis closes his eyes and braces himself for what's in the papers about him. He searches his name and clicks one of the articles coming up before he can see what the headline says, and then he reads properly.

**Notorious womaniser Louis Tomlinson invites new fling over to his house!! See the pictures below.**

The story is generic and disgusting, talking about how this is his seventh girl in a month and how he never takes any of them seriously. Someone whipped up a story about how they supposedly met and what they 'suspect' happened during the 'one hour' she spent in his house. It's all rubbish. Louis sighs and rolls his eyes before clicking the link to the photos. He's amazed, and he's also pretty sure he shouldn't have done that.

The photos are all of a stunning quality, which means that Harry Styles is really, really good at his job. Which, by the way, should not be Louis' first notion. He should be angry and upset that Harry apparently managed to make him look content and as if he was in good spirits. He should be outraged that Niall is nowhere to be seen, without making the pictures look tampered with. Instead he marvels over Harry's skill with a camera. That is inherently wrong.

Louis groans. It's bad enough that he hasn't been able to think of anything else than Harry's gorgeous green eyes and wanting to run his fingers through Harry's curly locks, he doesn't need to know that Harry is also really good at what he does. Louis doesn't want to think about him ever again.

Groaning, he pulls away from his computer and starts making a plan to counter this attack on his image. He comes up blank, until he sees an article about two of his friends. They aren't very close friends but a night out together is sure to be fun, so Louis texts Zayn to ask if he and Liam are willing to help.

Zayn and Liam, or Zayn&Liam, are an R&B duo and it was painful to watch them having massive crushes on each other, until they got their shit together and started dating about two years ago. They're openly out and together now and their relationship is everything Louis wants in life. They're so good to each other, they're deeply in love and they make each other very happy. Louis sometimes wonders why he hasn't found that yet. Maybe it's because he's already in a hell of a relationship with his team, or maybe he just isn't really trying to find someone, but then again he doesn't want to have to try. It's just that seeing Liam and Zayn all loved-up makes him slightly jealous. Just slightly.

Louis met Zayn three years ago, and Liam about five seconds later since he wasn't far behind. The two of them seemed joined at the hip, even then. Louis could immediately see they were crazy about each other, but neither of them seemed really keen on making a move. Louis went clubbing with them a couple of times and they bonded easily. One time he caught them furiously making out in a back corner of a dark café, and he sent them home separately to sleep off the alcohol and talk it out the next day. After that, Liam and Zayn became the power couple of the decade. 

Louis isn't only envious of their relationship. If he is entirely honest, he also wants a fanbase and management team like theirs. In fact, Louis wants their management team. 

Liam and Zayn were able to come out as soon as they got together, because they did not only have a great team that made everything into solid promo and good press, but there was also a full plan in place, since everyone had seen it coming. Louis wants that freedom, that kind of encouragement and support. He wants the people who are supposed to have his back, to actually do their jobs and make him look good. He wants an image like Zayn&Liam's. That's why Louis applied to their management firm about a year ago, because all he wants is to have what they have.

Liam and Zayn know that, of course, and they applaud Louis for standing up to his manipulative current team and taking action to make things better. They've taken to warm their fanbase to the idea of possible upcoming collaborations between the three of them. 

Louis must admit he's impressed. Zayn and Liam's fanbase is just… marvellous. They're extremely loyal and supportive and they're happy and proud to stand up for their idols when needed. It's everything an artist wants; people who truly believe you're good at what you do and love you for it.

Louis is relieved when Zayn replies quickly.

**Zayn:** _Have something in mind, bro?_

**Louis:** _Yeah. I feel like I can murder my entire team right now. Wanna help me? With Liam?_

**Zayn:** _Nah not really a fan of blood and gore…_

**Louis:** _NO_

**Zayn:** _Aha what's your plan then?_

**Louis:** _Go out to a gay bar and strike up a very public ONS_

**Louis:** _Doesn't even have to go that far_

**Louis:** _Just enough to make this ridiculous stunt fall flat_

**Zayn:** _I'll ask Liam wait a sec_

**Louis:** _Sure_

**Zayn:** _Yeh he wants to come too. Wanna go tonight?_

**Louis:** _Yeah, that okay?_

**Zayn:** _Yes. We'll pick you up then, wear something tight_

**Louis:** _Don't worry, I will. Thanks._

**Zayn:** _No problem._

Louis sighs as he puts his phone away. He feels like he can breathe a tiny bit now that he has hopes of turning the tides. He'll show everyone who he is, whether he's allowed or not.

There's just one problem. Louis can't get that fucking tog out of his head, and he really should. By noon, it's become obvious that he's incapable of doing something without wondering where Harry is, what Harry's doing, and with who. It frustrates him endlessly that he still wants to see and touch the boy, even after his late night wank yesterday. It isn't fair, he shouldn't still be affected.

After trying for an hour to finish a song he started a few weeks ago and coming up with nothing, he gets curious. He can't seem to stop his mind from drifting off to Harry Styles, and Louis turns to his computer again and searches for Harry's website. 

He's stunned by what he sees. There are gorgeous pictures on the website of all kinds of gigs, and Louis almost holds his breath as he flicks through the online portfolio. There are weddings, birthdays, funerals, school dances, important happenings all around, and all the pictures are equally beautiful. Harry is extremely good at this, Louis concludes completely awestruck.

He finds links to Harry's social media, an Instagram page and a Twitter page, and he opens both. Harry's Instagram is full of pretty landscapes and important people. There are selfies, too. Quite a lot, and it's not exactly helping Louis' cause that Harry is apparently able to perfectly capture his own beauty on camera too. And Harry isn't just really pretty, but really fit as well. He's littered with tattoos, which Louis thinks are quite sexy.

Harry's arms and abs are very buff, but somehow he still has love handles. He has four nipples and exquisite shoulders and Louis would very much like to run his tongue over the inked birds on Harry's collarbones. Louis' mouth almost starts to water. He basically wants to devour Harry, and he groans to himself as he realises that he's only making it, whatever 'it' may be, worse. 

Tearing his eyes away from Harry's devilish photos, he clicks Harry's Twitter. There are some odd tweets: weird sayings he's never heard of before or good advice on life. Most tweets, though, are just announcements for which events he'll be photographing and thanks to whoever invited him. He seems to actually be quite sweet, and that bothers Louis even more. He's not supposed to be attracted to Harry. He doesn't _want_ to be attracted to him. Ew. The very person closeting him.

And Louis knows full well that that isn't entirely true. He knows it's not Harry's fault, that he's just being hired by Louis' vile team, and that he's just getting paid to do his job and do it well. But it's not a wedding. It's not a party of any kind, it's the personal humiliation and public slandering of a pop star who is already having a hard time with the general public. And Harry was way too excited and happy about it yesterday for Louis to be excited and happy about him in any way.

Louis thinks he should take a nap and try to forget about Harry Styles.

-

When Zayn and Liam pick him up that night, he's in a relatively good mood and looking forward to flirting with strangers, something he hasn't really done in a while. They're going to a gay bar in central London, where there'll surely be paps hanging around. It's Louis' intention to be seen tonight. 

Louis isn't a big fan of flings and one-night stands, he'd much rather have a deep love and a long-lasting relationship. He falls hard and fast and he prefers sex when there are feelings involved, from both sides. He isn't opposed to a bit of kissing and maybe fondling a stranger in a club, though. Tonight's not about taking someone home. It's about being seen with a man.

Entering the club, the three of them walk up to the bar immediately. They order drinks to get their blood flowing, as Liam calls it, and with their drinks they turn around to face the dance floor. All three of their bodyguards are out of sight. They're there, Louis knows they're there, but it's a good thing they're keeping their distance. They have scared people off before. 

Talking and dancing (it's a good thing Liam's there because Zayn would never dance on his own) they're having a good time, when suddenly Louis spots a guy across the room making eyes at him. He's pretty, and he seems sweet, even though it's dark and all Louis knows is that his smile is friendly. He just looks… harmless.

Louis smiles to himself and turns back to his friends to let them know he saw someone, before turning his attention to the boy again. The boy smiles and winks at Louis, who excitedly turns to Zayn and Liam again.

“He's flirting with me, what do I do?”

“Louis. How long haven't you done this? You go up to him and dance a bit. Or talk, whatever.”

“Says the guy with the serious relationship and loving boyfriend to go home with.”

Liam snickers. “Come on, Lou, you can do it. He's still ogling you.”

Louis sighs, they're right, of course. “Okay, here I go.”

Louis puts his glass on the bar and walks over to the boy watching him, steadily, until he trips over something and flies right into his arms. The boy laughs as Louis looks up at him, embarrassed. 

“I'm sorry...”

“No, it's okay, now I can truthfully say Louis Tomlinson fell for me.”

Louis groans. Of course the boy knows who he is. “Please don't,” he says darkly. “What's your name?”

“Sam. Wanna dance?”

“Sure.” Louis takes Sam's hand and follows him to a quiet corner, where they sway around a little to a beat that changes too quickly to ever really get into. Louis isn't surprised when a few minutes later suddenly Sam's arms around him tighten and he looks into his eyes determinedly, asking a question. Louis nods and Sam kisses him. Louis kisses back. 

It isn't anything special, really, it's just a kiss and it's okay, but it's enough. When Sam asks “Wanna go get some fresh air?” Louis nods eagerly and follows him outside. There, Louis lets himself be pushed up against the wall and snogged for a while and actually quite enjoys it, until he hears cameras go off.

He waits just a tad too long, so that he's sure they've got some pics, but then he tells Sam he should go back to his friends, that this was fun but that he isn't taking him home. Sam just grins.

“At least I got to kiss you.”

“That you did.”

“Bye Louis.”

“Bye Sam.”

Louis goes back inside and finds Liam and Zayn quickly. He signals to them that he succeeded in his quest before he reaches them, and they're laughing when he hugs them. 

“Cute one,” Liam tells him.

Louis nods. “Yeah. He is quite cute. He also resembles someone I've been trying not to think about.”

Curiosity peaked, Zayn and Liam simultaneously ask him who. 

“Don't laugh, it's bad enough.”

Zayn raises his eyebrows.

“That stunt yesterday… my team hired a new tog. He's fucking fit and really bubbly and he takes stunning pictures.”

Louis can see his friends wonder what they should say to him. He decides to do it for them.

“No. I don't want to like him. I don't like him. He's extremely annoying and he's the one that made those pictures actually look believable this time. I hate it.”

“But, Louis… If he's in your mind all day…” Liam trails off.

“You're attracted to him, bro. Don't deny it,” Zayn says.

Louis frowns at them. “No I'm not. I'm resisting being attracted to him really hard.”

Zayn raises one eyebrow. “How's that working out for you so far?”

Not very well, if Louis is honest. The boy he just snogged even had curls and dimples and a broad figure. Louis glares at Zayn until he laughs and says: “Come on, we're going home. Okay?”

Liam laughs too and Louis nods. Of course, when they leave the club, there are now several paps lined up to see if Louis is taking anyone home tonight. He isn't, though. If anything, Zayn and Liam are taking _him_ home.

When they're dropping off Louis and Louis gets out of the car, Liam says to him: “Don't beat yourself up over this, Lou. It's okay to be attracted to him. It's a shit situation, but he isn't really at fault. You want to do your job the best you can, no matter the circumstances. I'm sure it's the same for him.”

“Thanks, Li.” Louis turns around and walks up to his door. They didn't stay out for long and he hasn't had much to drink, so he finds his key and unlocks the door easily, and after a half-hearted wave at the car driving away, he's home alone with his thoughts yet again. Not the best idea.

Louis strips off his clothes, which stink quite a lot because apparently just threatening to go clubbing will make you smell bad, and he walks to his shower. He's still half-hard from being manhandled half an hour ago, but when he wraps his hand around his cock, it isn't Sam he thinks about. It's buff arms with loads of tattoos, V lines with fucking ferns on them, disappearing into almost-too-low-hanging joggers. 

Then, once again, he thinks of big hands and long fingers touching him as he speeds up his pace. Terribly alluring red puffy lips, which he would kind of like to bite raw, stretched around his cock instead of hands, and it doesn't take long at all before Louis is spilling over his fingers. He takes a moment to catch his breath and rearrange his thoughts. That's the second time now he's wanked over Harry in as many days, and he's pretty sure he'll do it again. 

Louis silently cries empty tears while he washes himself, and he isn't sure why he's crying, he just knows he has to. He feels like it. It helps him feel better afterwards. When he gets out of the shower he brushes his teeth and drinks some water, before slipping in between his cool sheets with nothing on. He'll deal with the rest tomorrow.

-

There's a lot to deal with, the next day. He wakes up to five furious voice mails from different people at his management team, one sort-of-amused voice mail from his label, telling him to tone it down a bit and wait out the last few months, and three missed calls from Niall. He decides Niall gets a call-back first. 

“Hey babe,” Niall says. “Saw what you did. Good job. He's cute.”

“I haven't seen one bit of it, Ni. I just woke up. What happened?”

“Well you got photographed kissing a guy outside Gilber's, last night. 'M sure you don't know what I'm talking about...” Niall laughed.

Louis laughed too. “Yeah, I do. The guy was okay, I guess. Just a snog, though, nothing else.”

“Mmhmm. He looks like your tog.”

“Don't go there, Niall, please.”

“Okay, sorry. Does this mean you're out, now?”

“'M afraid not. My team is livid, but that's nothing new. They'll probably come up with something.” Louis sighs. He doesn't want them to. 

“Hmm. This is really funny stuff, though, I got five calls this morning from my family, all asking if you're definitively out of the closet now. Had to disappoint them.”

“Yeah, your family are sweet. Tell them thanks.”

“Lou, are you gonna be okay, though?”

“Yeah. They can't hurt me worse than they already have. I'm okay, Ni, really.” 

“Okay then. Love you.”

“Love you too, babe. How was your date?”

“Oh, it was fun. We're going out again, but I might stick with friendship. Not sure I really like her in that way yet.”

“Oh that's too bad. I'm glad you had fun, though.”

“Yeah, me too. Gotta go, though, work to do.”

“Bye bye.”

“Bye, babe,” Niall says with a chuckle. 

Louis takes a deep breath before calling back his team.

“Glad you finally found the time to call back. You're in trouble,” is the first thing he hears.

“I don't care.”

“You will care.”

“What are you going to do? Lock me up in a dungeon?” Louis chuckles.

“Get you a girlfriend, cancel the few shows we do have lined up for you, cook up some huge scandals.”

“I'm pretty capable of that myself, if you hadn't noticed,” Louis grins.

“Shut up. This isn't a joke. Luckily we found someone who can make it look like it isn't you in those photos. Someone's coming over with a paper for you to sign today. It says you can't say it's you in those pictures under any circumstances.”

“What about… never mind.” Louis sighs. It doesn’t really matter.

“Oh and we're starting an actual girlfriend narrative for you. We haven't decided on the details yet, but you've provoked it. You're getting a full-time beard and it's your own fault.”

“Sure. Whatever.”

“Louis! This is serious! You almost broke your contract with us!”

“So? You break it all the time by fucking working against me instead of for me! You should be thankful I haven't filed a lawsuit yet!”

“You couldn't. We work within the lines.”

“No. You don't work at all. Goodbye.”

And with that, Louis hangs up the phone. He vaguely wonders if today is going to be a repeat of the day before yesterday, when he met Harry… Fucking Harry. No. He should not be thinking about fucking Harry. 

Thinking about something else, Louis decides that today couldn't ever be a repeat. After all, now he has something to fight back with. He knows that two grainy pics in a tabloid aren't everything, but if it happens more often he's sure something will stick with the people reading it. And that's all he needs, for now. The rest can wait (but not too long).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked that, I will try to update every Monday.  
> Xxx


	3. Take me dancing tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I've been sick and starting a new life, basically, so everything's a bit hectic.  
> I'm sorry for the delay, I'll try to get the next chapter up next week on Monday (the 28th).  
> Here's chapter 3, enjoy. Xxx

Louis sighs as he picks up his phone. He feels stronger now that he's got gay rumours swirling around in the tabloids, but not yet ready to deal with a new stunt. 

“Yes?” he says wearily.

“Tomlinson.” Oh, so they're not even using his first name now. Okay.

“That's me.”

“You're going clubbing tonight and you'll take a few girls home.”

“I'm what?” Louis asks, disbelievingly. This is ridiculous.

“You heard me.”

“Who am I even going clubbing with?”

“Some friends we got you.”

“Sure. Like that'll work.”

“No one cares who your friends are. They just care about who you're taking home.”

“I think you might be mistaken. They don't care who I'm taking home if it's a girl. Because that is what society sees as normal.”

“Not after your rebellion. They'll want to know.”

“I think you seriously overestimate people's interest in my escapades. But you can do whatever, I'll have the last laugh anyway.”

“Fuck you.”

“I'd really rather not.”

“You'll be picked up at 9, make sure you're ready.”

The line clicks and Louis doesn't know what to do for a moment, but then he shrugs it off and texts Niall.

Louis: **Fancy a night out?**

Niall texts back half an hour later.

Niall: **You going for round two?**

Louis: **No. Stunt's happening. Apparently I'm taking home 'a few girls', like the true womaniser I am.**

Niall: **I'll be there babe. You can take me home.**

Louis: **I truly love you.**

Niall: **I love you too. Kisses xx**

Louis chuckles at Niall's affection, but sends kisses back regardless. Sometimes it feels like he's dating Niall, but he doesn't mind. People have been saying they'll end up together for years and it doesn't bother either of them, so they're good.

Louis goes about his day and he almost succeeds in not thinking about either Harry or how much Sam looked like Harry for a while. That is, of course, until he's behind the piano trying to figure out a tune that popped up in his head earlier. While he's trying to make it work he comes up with some lyrics for it, and he involuntarily relates them to Harry. When Louis realises what he's doing, he knows he's fucked. 

-

That night at 8, Louis' doorbell rings. He frowns to himself, they're an hour early. Well, he's not leaving before 9 anyway, that's for sure. Plus, Niall's only coming over right before they're supposed to be picked up. He needs him by his side for support. Confused, Louis walks to his front door.

That confusion only gets worse when he sees who it is. It's that fucking tog that he shouldn't be thinking about so much, much less write songs about. Louis eyes him up and down, wary of Harry's intentions. He seems to be alone, though, and he hasn't got a camera on him.

“Uhm, hi...” Harry says, his initial bright smile faltering just a tad, probably due to Louis' more than hostile look.

“What do you want?” Louis asks him. It comes out softer than he intended.

“I kind of wanted to talk to you,” Harry says.

“I told you last time that I don't want to talk to _you_. That hasn't changed.” Louis is annoyed, but also still a bit shocked about Harry's brilliant beauty suddenly showing up at his doorstep. Pictures and Louis' memory haven't done him justice. It's frustrating.

“I thought it hadn't. But I thought about it, and I realised that maybe you weren't promoting something. Maybe you were hiding something you don't really want to hide and then I saw the pictures last night...”

“Wait, how did you get them last night?” Louis interrupts him.

“Oh, I'm the one assigned to making it look like it isn't you in those photos,” Harry says, cheeks still dimpling. Unbelievable, why is he _still_ laughing? Why can't he see that it's no laughing matter to Louis?

“Do you ever relax your face or is it frozen like that?” Louis asks angrily.

Harry fucking chuckles. “I'm just a very happy person. I keep hoping it's contagious.”

“Well I'm not happy with you so can you please just make my day and go _away_?”

“I will after you hear me out. Please?”

Louis raises his eyebrows, waiting for Harry to go on. Harry looks unsure for a moment before he starts speaking.

“I understand that you're in a closet and you're rebelling against it, right?” Louis sighs and nods. “I just want to say that I understand. I'd do the same if I couldn't be with my boyfriend openly. I think you're very brave and even though my job might suggest otherwise, I would like to help you. Be your friend.”

Harry actually looks sincere. But, wait. He has a boyfriend?

“You're into men?” Louis asks. Harry nods. “You have a boyfriend?”

“Not really. An on and off fling. Boyfriend was just an easy way to describe it.”

“Well, listen up, Styles. You'll be of the best help by looking less thrilled about making my life miserable. Think funeral. If you thought that coming here and rubbing it in that you can do everything I can't was going to help, you thought wrong. Goodbye.”

Before Harry can get another word in, Louis closes the door. Harry doesn't try again.

-

As Louis sits down in his living room, his thoughts are a mess. That absolute Greek sculpture of a human being is into men? But he's also the person 'fixing' last night's photos? And he says he wants to help Louis but he can't even for one second show human emotion other than outrageously overjoyed? Please. Why is Harry even still so attractive to Louis? Why isn't Louis' unfriendliness throwing him off, like it's supposed to? Frustrated, Louis turns on his tv and lets it clear his mind.

At ten to nine, Niall's at his door. Louis hurries to open up and embraces Niall in a big, warm hug.

“I'm glad you're here, babe.”

Niall chuckles. “Anything for you. Will you come visit my parents with me soon? They're asking about you, haven't seen you in months.”

“Sure. Tell me when. Always up for Horan time.”

Louis smiles widely and hugs Niall again, just because he can.

The driver, who honks ten minutes later, is nice. He lets Niall in without protest and chats with them a bit until they've arrived. Louis is thankful that there isn't a handler present yet. He needs some time to mentally prepare himself for that.

When they get out of the car, Harry is there, flashing his camera at high speed like a proper pap. Louis doesn't appreciate it and pushes his camera out of the way. He acts as if he can't hear Harry laugh at his antics. There aren't any actual paps present, though, so that's a bit of a relief to Louis. Niall entwines his fingers with Louis' effortlessly, as if they've talked about or practised it. It surprises him for a moment but then Louis squeezes Niall's hand gently in thanks.

Once they're inside the club, his handler and Harry follow quickly. They're not allowed to take pictures inside and Louis supposes they can't make him stunt in here, so he pays them no mind. Niall lets go of Louis' hand and walks up to the bar to get them drinks. Louis follows quickly. 

“What do you want?” Niall shouts to him over the music.

“Martini,” Louis says immediately. “Do they have lemons?”

“I'll ask for it,” Niall says with a chuckle.

When they get their drinks, it doesn't take long for Niall and Louis to hit the dance floor. They move around, stumbling, laughing, and they're having a great time. Niall loves date nights like this one, Louis knows. They don't have them enough these days. 

When they were younger and Louis less busy, they would have a date night once every week. They never pre-planned them, but they always ended up dancing, sleeping or doubled over with laughter. Louis hadn't realised how much he missed this. The last time must have been months ago. Louis twirls Niall around before pulling him back in. They aren't particularly good at dancing, but together they just work. Maybe it's because they know each other so well.

“He's watching us,” Niall says in Louis' ear after they've been dancing for a while.

“Who is?” Louis asks.

“Your tog. If you wanna go talk to him, that's okay.”

“I really don't, though.”

That's a lie, and Louis knows it. Harry is over there, by the bar, looking like a fucking sex god and he is watching Louis and Niall dance. It's the perfect opportunity for a stupid pick-up line and offering him a drink. The way Harry's tight black jeans hug his thighs and the sheer black shirt hangs half open from his excruciatingly broad shoulders make Louis want to take a cold shower. 

Instead, he dances on with Niall and keeps his eyes away from Harry stoically. His mind races. Louis wants to _touch_ Harry. He wants to feel him, kiss that stupid grin off his face until he can't even remember how to smile. Louis wants to devour him, explore Harry's body with his tongue and tangle his hands in Harry's hair. He may be trying not to see him, but he can feel Harry's gaze as if it's burning through his skin.

“I reckon that semi you're sporting isn't for me, though,” Niall suddenly says. 

Louis groans. “No, it's not.”

“He's still watching. If you're so attracted to him, why not just give him a chance?”

Louis frowns at Niall, doubtful. They've stopped dancing now.

“Go,” Niall says. “Get us new drinks. Talk to him if you want to. I'll wait here, but you don't have to hurry. Go on.”

Louis finally makes his way over to the bar, carefully avoiding Harry's eyes. There are only two people in between them when Louis does reach it, and he can still feel Harry looking at him. He orders a rum-coke for Niall and another martini for himself, and while he waits he watches Harry from the corners of this eyes. Finally, he can't take it anymore, and he turns his head to look at him. 

Harry looks truly stunning tonight and Louis takes a moment to check him out. He practically ogles him until he sees a shy smile creep upon Harry's face. Shy? Harry? The same bloke that showed up at his doorstep to inquire about Louis' sexuality a few hours earlier? Louis frowns in confusion and Harry's smile falters, before he turns his head to study the ground. For a moment, Louis wonders what happened, but then he realises that maybe Harry interpreted his frown as annoyance, and somehow that stings. It takes Louis less than a second to decide to go over to him after all. There isn't a stool left, so Louis walks around the people in between them and puts his hand on Harry's leg. Harry looks up at him, and the smile comes back tentatively. It's still shy, but Louis smiles back this time.

“What's up?” Louis asks.

Harry smiles down at Louis' hand on his thigh. “You and Niall look cute,” he answers. 

That stuns Louis for a moment. “Thanks…?” He's confused until he gets what Harry meant to say. “Oh. We're not together, if that is what you mean.”

Harry looks up at him again, curious look on his face. “You're not?” Louis shakes his head. “But you danced so close and you're always touching...”

Louis is unimpressed. “Just how long have you been studying us for?” he asks. Harry shrugs and his unnaturally wide smile comes back. Louis wants to leave _now_.

“I just noticed today,” Harry says. Louis rolls his eyes and lets go of Harry's leg. Right on cue, his drinks arrive.

“Well, I have to go,” Louis says. “Was just getting drinks for me and my _boyfriend_.” He's about to turn away when Harry stops him.

“No, please, I'd like to just talk to you. I'm not sure what I did wrong just now but please?” He looks sincere, and he's still fucking hot and messing with Louis' mind, so Louis takes a deep breath and turns back to him.

“One chance. One. Understand?” Harry nods, and instead of his manic face, he smiles a cute lopsided dimply one that makes Louis' heart flutter. Louis leans against the bar, sipping his Martini, trying to make sense of the sensation while he waits for Harry to say something.

“So you're not dating Niall. Are you single, then?”

Louis nods slowly, wondering why that matters. Then he frowns. “Why would you think I'm dating anyone when I literally just snogged a stranger last night? That doesn't make any sense, mate.”

Harry giggles. It's such an endearing and charming sound, Louis knows he won't get it out of his mind any time soon. Fuck Harry, honestly. 

“Well, I thought it could have been just a stunt, you know. Maybe you didn't want your actual boyfriend outed as such.” Harry shrugs. Louis has a problem because he can't keep his eyes away from Harry's lips, and he would _really_ like to know what they feel like, what they taste like. Mustering up all his self-control, Louis reaches out to tuck a stray curl behind Harry's ear and then he leans in to whisper something to him.

“Or,” Louis suggests, putting his other hand back on Harry's thigh, while trying not to get caught up in the way Harry smells tonight, “you think I'm hot and you just wanted to know if I'm single so you don't have to feel bad when you jerk off to the thought of me later.” 

He doesn't wait for an answer, just takes his and Niall's drinks and turns away Niall is laughing when he reaches him.

“Mate, I don't know what you said to him, but he's all flustered! He looks like he doesn't know what to do!”

“Have you been watching me, then?”

“Course I have! My best friend denying he's attracted to someone only to see him flirt with said someone five minutes later… Brilliant!” Niall laughs on and Louis watches him, half amused, half annoyed. Then he shrugs. 

“'S not like anything is going to happen, Ni. I dislike him as much as I like him. It won't work.”

Something in his voice makes Niall shut up, and Louis thinks it may have been the wistful undertone. He's still caught up in the way Harry looked just now, so kissable and _within reach_ , when Niall finally chuckles and pulls Louis in for another tipsy stumble that can't really be classified as 'dancing' anymore. Louis huffs out a laugh and lets Niall distract him. 

-

About an hour later, they're well on their way to being pissed, and Niall has succeeded in making Louis not think about Harry, until Louis goes over to the bar and there he is again, sitting near the end and looking at him. Instead of ordering a drink, Louis pulls a cautious Harry up on his feet and pulls him with him, away from there. Harry holds onto Louis' hand firmly, even squeezes it. Louis can't stop himself from caressing Harry's hand and once they've reached a somewhat quiet corner, Louis turns around to face him.

“What are you...” Harry begins, but Louis shuts him up.

“You wanted to talk to me. I'm now drunk enough. Go ahead,” he says, grinning. Harry looks almost sad at that, and for some vague reason, probably alcohol, it makes Louis burst out in a fit of giggles.

“I don't know why you feel you have to be drunk to talk to me, but I just wanted to befriend you. I didn't mean to bother you,” Harry says. He seems to have lost his ability to smile. He looks down at his shoes, and that's not right. Louis wants his pretty eyes on him, not the floor. Then Harry's words sink in.

“No! I need to drink because you make me very nervous and I need something to make me stop thinking about y… it,” Louis slurs.

Harry looks back up, and Louis really does love his eyes. They're gorgeous. In fact, he wants to see them up close. Right now they're hopeful and sincere, so Louis leans forward to get closer to those pretty things that make his life so difficult. Suddenly, he's stopped by something, so he can't lean in any more, and Harry's eyes fall shut. 

Then, for some reason, Louis feels a little pressure against his lips, repeating itself. It takes Harry's hands moving to Louis' waist for Louis to realise that Harry is _kissing_ him. Louis giggles and presses back, pursing his lips against Harry's. They're really soft, and it takes Louis another few moments to realise that he's kissing Harry back. 

When Harry's lips start to move, parting slightly and attempting to play with Louis' lips, Louis' head starts spinning. He finally remembers how to do this and he gives in to the kiss, closing his eyes and relaxing against Harry's firm body. He tangles his hands in Harry's hair and kisses him back, and he only breaks the kiss when he feels Harry's tongue slip out.

“Why'd you kiss me?” Louis asks, bewildered.

Harry frowns. “You… you kissed me...”

“I did?”

“Well, I thought that was the intention when you pressed your mouth against mine.”

“Oh! Your eyes were really pretty and I wanted to see them up close,” Louis explains.

Harry groans. “For fuck's sake, you're really drunk. You should go home.” Louis giggles again and slumps against Harry, who sighs. He smells really nice. “Come on. Get you home. You do have to walk out with a girl, though. But take Niall with you, he'll do the right thing,” Harry says.

“Niall!” Louis yells out, and attempts to run to him. He trips and falls before he has even taken two steps, making Harry huff out a laugh. He helps him up and walks him over to Niall. Louis hugs him extensively and doesn't listen to whatever Harry is telling Niall. Finally Niall hugs him back for a moment, before untangling himself from Louis' grip. 

“You're gonna have a problem tomorrow, babe,” Niall says. 

Louis doesn't care. He's dragged outside while Niall takes care of him, and into a car that's waiting. The car is quite crowded, since there are already three girls in there. Louis doesn’t recognise any of them. 

-

When they reach Louis' house, Niall quickly takes him inside. He makes him drink two glasses of water and makes him go pee before helping him undress and crawling into bed with him. Louis truly loves him.

“Thanks, Niall. I love you.” 

“Love you too, babe.”

They fall asleep like that, just like old times.

When Louis wakes up, however, he feels dead inside. Niall is still snoring in his ear (Niall prefers to sleep using the whole bed, and in Louis' case, that's a _lot_ of space) and Louis gets up to take a shower. He doesn't remember much from last night, doesn't remember stunting at all. He only remembers the way Harry looked sitting at the bar, he remembers dancing with Niall, and he remembers there being loads of alcohol.

Louis wills himself to fully wake up, and after his shower he tries not to disturb Niall as he goes downstairs to make breakfast. Niall emerges about twenty minutes later.

“Morning, babe,” Louis greets him cheerfully.

“You're chipper. Morning,” Niall grumbles.

“Well, my hangover is surprisingly mild today and I don't remember a thing from last night. No bad memories.”

Niall deadpans. “You don't remember anything?”

“Well, dancing with you?”

“That's all?”

“Yeah, why? Did something happen?”

Niall raises his eyebrows and sits down at Louis' kitchen table. “Not sure how to tell ya this, mate.”

“Spit it out, Nialler.”

“Okay. You kissed Harry.”

Louis' mouth falls open. “I did what?”

“Yeah. And he kissed you back, I'm sure of it, saw it with my own eyes, but he didn't look happy about it when he told me to take you home two minutes later. You don't remember any of that?”

Louis truly doesn't, but he kind of wishes he did. He has wondered about Harry's lips before… and now he has felt them but he doesn't remember it at all. 

Louis sighs. “Did I enjoy it?”

“You looked like you did, yeah. But you were also pissed off your arse and I don't think you fully understood what you were doing.”

“Fuck,” Louis groans. “Well, whatever. Maybe I won't even see him again. Anything else worth mentioning?”

“Nah, you're good.” Niall is silent for a moment before he asks: “Are you sure you don't wanna see him again? You like him, Lou. I can see you're into him, no matter how much you deny it. Don't you wanna give him a chance? Give yourself that chance?”

Louis shrugs, uncomfortable with the question. He doesn't want to think about that right now. He was doing fine avoiding Harry, so why stop now? Because of a drunken snog? No way. And, yet, Louis needs a reason. He needs a reminder for not flirting with Harry, for not trying anything with him. Louis is well aware of his attraction, he just needs to tell himself why Harry Styles is an exceptionally bad idea sometimes, and all those reasons still count, no matter what happened last night. Louis doesn't want someone who is actively helping his team to reinforce his closet. No.

-

Louis doesn't pay attention to whatever the papers have to say about him that day. He simply couldn't care less, especially when there are more pressing matters to think about. After breakfast, him and Niall watch a film curled up on the couch, but Louis' mind keeps wandering, distracting him. 

“Niall?” Louis asks when he can't hold in his frustrations any longer.

“Yeah?” Niall says, pausing the film. 

“Have you ever liked someone but didn't want to know about it?”

Niall searches Louis' expression for a moment before he slowly nods. “I have.”

“How did you deal with it?”

Niall is very cautious when he speaks on. “I didn't. Deal with it, I mean. They were dating when I met them and I tried to forget about it, but I couldn't… He stuck in my mind and I'm still kind of crushing on him. I don't see him as often these days.”

Louis laughs. “Him? Niall Horan, are you coming out to me?”

Niall _blushes_. Louis thinks it's cute and he pulls him in for a hug. “Hey babe, it's okay, you know that, right?” Niall nods. “So is this mystery guy the reason your dates never go anywhere?”

“Yeah,” Niall sighs. “I can't get him out of my head.”

“May I know who it is?”

“Yeah, I suppose. If you don't tell him.”

“C'mon Ni, you're my best friend. Course I won't.”

“It's just that I wouldn't have known him if it wasn't for you. It's Ed.”

Louis sits up. “You've been crushing on Ed? And neither of you told me? I'm offended, Ni!”

Niall laughs. “He doesn't know, Lou. He couldn't have told you. And I tried to forget about it, like I said. 'M still trying to.”

“That girl he was with wasn't really his girlfriend, though. I'm sorry that hurt you, I would have told you but I didn't know it was important so it never came up. It was pure PR. He's been a single pringle for the longest time.”

“Oh,” is all Niall says.

“C'mere,” Louis says, pulling Niall back in. “I'll invite him over more often, okay? When you're here, I mean.”

Niall chuckles. “Yeah, sure.”

It makes Louis' day. He's beyond happy that Niall has a crush of his own, and although he didn't know about it for a long time, he's happy that Niall has finally told him. And if he's honest, he thinks that maybe, just maybe (and he isn't telling Niall yet until he's a bit more sure), Ed could like him back. Louis has known Ed for years and he's seen him tentatively date a guy before, and Niall is so bubbly and sweet and down-to-earth and Louis thinks that Ed might just like that. He hopes he does.

Plus, Niall having a crush makes Louis less apprehensive about his own. Yes, his crush. He's able to admit it now. He's kind of crushing on the pretty photographer that's been up in his space, and he should maybe stop being so mean to him. Louis knows he's been a right prick to him and that he's probably hurt him. It's not fair on either of them, so Louis vows that he'll give him that chance. 

Maybe having a little crush on Harry is okay. Maybe Harry is okay.


	4. Laws of attraction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long wait. I still hope you enjoy and I want you to know that no matter how long it can take, I'm not giving up on this story. I like it too much. Xxx

Louis doesn't see or speak to Harry for three days, and it makes him restless. He wants to reach out to him but he doesn't quite know how, because he doesn't want to seem too eager after pushing him away so actively. That would be weird and confusing. That does mean, however, that he has to just wait and see if and when he'll see him again. It bothers him that he doesn't know, and Louis hates the idea that he'll probably only see Harry during another stunt. 

When it gets to be too much, Louis takes his frustrations to Twitter. He tweets ambiguous things that no one will figure out but that have meaning for him, personally. They mostly relate to Harry and some are even song lyrics. 

Louis isn't quite sure how to monitor himself. Is he giving in to his crush completely? Is he still fighting parts of it? He just doesn't know whether to let himself daydream about kissing Harry or not. Whether to let himself make up conversations with Harry in his head or not. He just isn't sure what it is he wants. Not completely. He knows he'd like to fuck Harry, and he's aware that he'd like to get to know him better, and honestly, he just wants to get him alone to see what he wants from him. He really doesn't know how to arrange that, though. 

He is also fighting with his management team (heh, what's new) over this new girlfriend narrative they promised him. He's trying with all his might to prevent that from happening. He isn't getting very far, though, and when his phone rings on the third day he doesn't expect them to have cancelled their plans. It surprises him that apparently his label has pressured his management team into reconsidering and now they're stuck. While they're still deciding it'll get set up, the girlfriend narrative, but they're not sure they'll actually go there yet. Louis is happy with that, for now. It does mean he'll have to stunt again that night: a coffee date. He thinks he might just end up getting coffee with someone else entirely. 

Just after four that afternoon, there's someone at his door. Louis suspects it's someone from his team to brief him for the stunt tonight, and when he opens up with a sigh, he's only partly surprised to find Harry standing there. He's smiling nervously, and Louis needs a moment to take all of him in. His beauty, the way he seems to shine, the way he seems nervous to talk to Louis, to show up here again. Louis blinks.

“Hi,” Harry says.

“Uhm, hi,” Louis eventually replies. “What's up?”

Harry looks down, but his smile is still there. Louis thinks it's very cute.

“I, uhm, I suppose I wanted to talk to you before the stunt tonight.”

“Why is it that every time you want to talk to me, you show up on my doorstep? You do know that phones and social media exist, right?”

Harry huffs out a soft chuckle, and Louis is very endeared.

“Yeah, I just… I suppose I prefer looking you in the eye,” Harry says, looking down still.

“You're not really doing a terrific job so far. I think my face must be more interesting than your shoes.”

Harry's smile fades and makes way for a slight frown, and that's when Louis decides to have mercy on him. “Come in, dork. Want some tea?”

Harry quickly nods. “Yes, please.”

Louis makes them tea after Harry sits down in his living room. 

“So, talk,” he prompts when he sits down too. Being civil to Harry is actually pretty easy, almost too easy. Louis decides not to dwell on that.

“I uhm… I wanted to apologise for the other night.”

Louis frowns, not sure what Harry is talking about exactly.

“I shouldn't have kissed you.”

Louis heart sinks. Harry regrets kissing him? Does that mean he never wanted to? Because even now, Louis is equally as interested in Harry's lips and the way they move as he is in whatever Harry is saying. 

“Why?” Louis asks, frowning.

“Well, you were incredibly drunk. I'm surprised you even remember, actually.”

“Oh, I don't. Niall told me. But don't worry, mate, just a drunken snog. I don't mind you taking advantage of me just this one time, if you promise not to do it again,” he says with a wink, trying to indicate that he's joking. Harry doesn't look convinced. “'s Not like I think you're dangerous. You do harm without meaning to,” he laughs.

“I am sorry. Really,” Harry says. 

Louis nods. “I know. It's fine. But since I am sober now...” he starts, not sure if he's willing to finish the thought out loud.

“What is it?” Harry asks, and Louis smiles.

“Is it okay if I kiss you now?” 

Louis is sitting next to Harry on his sofa. They're facing each other with about a metre in between, and Louis hopes his anticipation isn't too obvious. Harry's lips are parted slightly and his eyes slowly avert to look at Louis' lips. 

Suddenly Louis is very nervous; this moment actually means a lot to him. He is really very attracted to Harry and he might have just taken a step towards getting somewhere with him. Plus, he just really wants to kiss him. 

Then, ever so slowly, Harry nods and smiles widely. “Sure.”

He doesn't move in, though, just kind of sits there eyeing Louis, probably waiting for him to make a move. Suddenly Louis isn't sure anymore.

“I mean,” he starts, trying to buy himself some time to think this through, “if Niall brings it up again, I'm going to need to know what it was like. That kiss, I mean.”

Harry's eyes twinkle. “Well, it was rather weird. You came closer and closer looking me in the eyes until you just pressed your face against mine. I though your intention was to kiss me so I kissed you back. You responded adequately, but apparently you had only wanted to see my pretty eyes up close. Your drunk head didn't realise there was a limit to leaning in.”

Louis doesn't know if he should laugh or look away. Harry is visibly amused, and Louis wonders whether or not his smirk is genuine this time. It probably is, he decides after a moment. He would pull the same face if the situation was reversed. Harry waits until Louis looks at him again, before he zones in on his lips. When he looks back up he raises his eyebrows, silently asking if that kiss is still happening. 

Louis sighs. “Why are you even willing to do this? I can't have kissed very well if I was too drunk to remember the concepts of personal space.”

Harry gets more amused every second. “Bro, calm down. It was just a bit of lip-locking. You pulled away when I wanted more. It's really not that big of a deal.”

Louis chuckles. “You wanted more, huh?”

Harry tries and fails to fight the grin creeping onto his face. Louis is the one smirking now. 

“Come here,” he says, beckoning Harry closer. 

Harry obliges slowly, blinking at Louis with a hint of wonder in his expression. Louis leans in a little as Harry comes closer, fully intent on kissing Harry's brains out. He just hopes this won't be a one time thing just to rectify some drunk actions. Louis can feel the shots of adrenaline pump through him, in anticipation of this kiss. 

Louis knows he's fucked; he's way too attracted to Harry to have this all still possibly go wrong. But then he stops thinking and closes the remaining distance between them and he feels Harry's lips. Louis' eyes fall shut and he tentatively scoots closer to Harry. Harry's hands find Louis' waist, pulling him a little closer even, and Louis gets momentarily caught up in the sensations of Harry around him. 

Harry's mouth is exquisite. He tastes of tea and biscuits and warmth and Louis loves it. He loves the feel of Harry's tongue against his own and he revels in feeling Harry's fingers digging into his sides. Harry is lovely, so lovely, and Louis knows he'll only be more attracted to him after this. 

They quickly find an easy rhythm and neither of them seems particularly inclined to end the kiss any time soon. Louis slowly moves to straddle Harry's lap on the sofa and he tangles his hands in Harry's hair. They're fully making out now, but neither of them cares, and Louis is rather fond of what Harry's doing to his tongue. He sometimes suckles on the tip of it, and it's quite the pleasurable experience. Louis softly pulls on Harry's hair to let him know, but when Harry moans softly, it only makes matters worse. Louis is definitely turned on, and Harry has yet to show any interest. 

Embarrassed, Louis finally pulls away, pecks Harry's lips once more, then leans away again. He climbs off of Harry's lap and hopes his bulge isn't too obvious. Harry is still in the process of opening his eyes, though, so he should be all right.

“You're quite the kissing partner when you're sober,” Harry murmurs.

Louis grins. “Thank you very much. Practised a lot.” After a short pause, he adds: “You're not so bad yourself.”

Harry looks at him silently for a moment. “All right, so uh… so that's cleared up.” He clears his throat. “Was fun.”

Louis regards him carefully, trying to read him. “Yeah, it was.”

He doesn't dare suggest doing it again, no matter how much he wants to. His face must show something, though, because Harry starts laughing.

“You're blushing. You liked that?”

Louis fidgets under his scrutiny, causing Harry to look down.

“Oh… Is that why you stopped? You don't have to be embarrassed, you know. I've got one too, I know how they work.”

Louis can't believe his ears.

“Want another one?” Harry asks “A kiss?”

Louis really doesn't know how to respond, and that's a first.

“Louis?” Harry puts his hands on Louis' thighs. “Do you want me to kiss you again?”

With all of his strength, Louis shakes his head. “No. You're taking the mick out of me, which I don't appreciate. No matter how well you kiss.”

“I actually wasn't...” Harry says, and he sounds a little lost. 

Louis melts. “Really?”

“Really. I just… liked that you liked it, I suppose. Was enthusiastic.”

“Oh.” Louis still doesn't want to make the first move.

“Can I kiss you?” Harry asks. 

“You really want to, huh?” 

Harry nods, smiling. “Yeah. Fun way to spend time, I'd say.”

“What, kissing me or kissing in general?” Louis jokes. 

Harry shrugs, however. “Just kissing.”

He leans in and Louis forgets to regret his joke. “Okay.”

He kisses Harry again and even though Louis knows it's stupid, he likes it too much to say 'no'. He _wants_ to kiss him. He knows it's just fun to Harry, and he knows that this is most probably a one time thing. But he is very, _very_ attracted to Harry, and now that he has the chance to kiss him, he's not letting it go.

Then Harry straddles him, pressing his crotch against Louis' and Louis knows it's probably to taunt him, but he couldn't care less at the moment. It's not the first boner Harry has given him anyway.

Louis quickly finds his wit and asks: “What, you wanna do something about that? 'Cause I don't really do random fucks.”

Harry chuckles. “But you do do random snogging?”

“Obviously.”

Harry grins and reattaches their lips. “Your lips will be all swollen for the stunt later,” he mumbles shortly after.

Louis resolutely pushes him off. “Fuck you. Is that why you kissed me? To make matters worse?”

“No, I...”

“Bye, Harry,” Louis says, and with a shocked look, Harry gets up.

“You really want me to go?”

“Yes.”

Harry hurriedly gets his stuff and does as he's told. At least he listens. Louis can feel tears prickling behind his eyes by the time he hears the front door fall shut. 

“The fuck are you doing, Tommo?” he murmurs as he lets his head fall into his hands.

Thing is, Louis knows Harry probably didn't mean it that way, and Louis didn't really want him to go. But he doesn't want to have to deal with Harry's smug face again later and it's easier to protect himself from his feelings if he pushes Harry away. He didn't exactly sound like that kiss was anything but just a little fun to him, and Louis wants a lot more. 

Earlier, he was thinking of maybe, possibly, asking Harry out. Now he's not so sure. He pinches the bridge of his nose, and he sighs before standing up. He goes outside to see if Harry is still there somewhere. He isn't and Louis is about to turn around, when he spots Harry's car. He walks over and taps the window. Harry looks up, and he frowns as he rolls it down.

“What is it?” he asks. He doesn't sound happy.

“I'm sorry,” Louis starts. “I shouldn't have sent you away like that. I know you didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry.”

Harry's face changes to neutral. “Look, I was just about to tell you that you looked pretty like that and that I liked the sight, but I didn't get the chance. I maybe shouldn't have made a joke about it, but for some reason I seem to piss you off on a daily basis. I really don't mean any harm. What's the problem?”

Louis hesitates. “Do you maybe want to come back inside? We can talk about it, just… I promise not to kick you out again.”

“You can tell me to go as you please, Louis. It's your house. I'm just wondering what it is you hate so much about me.”

He makes no effort to get out of the car.

“Please, come back inside with me?” Louis asks. “I'm not above begging,” he half-heartedly jokes, but it makes Harry crack a smile. 

He seems to contemplate the offer, and Louis inwardly sighs. Harry is gorgeous. Polite and handsome, thoughtful, artistic, perfectly lovely and a wonderful kisser. Phenomenal, actually. And Louis just kicked all that out of his house for making a stupid remark. He really needs to learn how to handle his crush. 

Louis suddenly realises that he's been cranky to everyone lately, including Niall. If he wants people to like him, he should maybe start being friendly to his best friend and his crush at the very least. He doesn't notice Harry is suddenly standing beside him, until Harry gently touches his arm, startling him a little.

“Sorry, I spaced out. I'll behave better, I promise. I've not exactly been nice to you, maybe unfairly. I'm sorry.”

Harry softly kisses his cheek. “I kind of understand where you're coming from, though. Must be hard when your team is only working _against_ you. I swear I'm not trying to make it even harder.”

Louis nods and takes Harry back inside by the hand. He doesn't let Harry see how he likes the simple act of holding hands and how he'd like to make it a regular occurrence. And then, finally, they have a chat and they learn about each other's lives. 

Louis learns that Harry has a sister, that he's been photographing stuff since he was seven, that he loves to cook and that he tends to act cocky and overconfident when he's nervous. Louis tells Harry about his friendship with Niall, the ups and downs of his career and why he's still doing it. Harry listens attentively. Louis cherishes the moment, because he doesn't know when they'll be like this again. 

When it's time for Louis' stunt, however, Harry squeezes Louis' hand. “Tell me when it becomes too much. I'll do what I can, okay?” 

Louis nods. They go to a nearby pub, where Louis is supposed to sit, look pretty and look into the girl across from him. It's a hard task, because making small talk with Verona, as she's called, is hard to do when the boy he's crushing on is circling their table with his camera in hand. Louis' eyes keep wandering to Harry, who offers him small smiles. Harry is clearly enjoying himself, but he tries not to show it, and Louis admires that. 

It's an hour before he finally gets the green light to go home, but since he's physically tired of pretending, he just sits there and waits for the rest to leave. He just stares into his now empty coffee cup. He doesn't even like coffee, he much prefers tea. He feels drained. 

He lets his head fall into his hands and he stays like that for a while, until he's sure they're all gone. He doesn't want to go outside and face the fans that will undoubtedly be waiting for pictures and autographs. He doesn't want to go outside at all. Louis just wants to curl up and mull over the kisses and conversations with Harry in peace. He wants to forget about this fake coffee date and pretend he can ask out Harry instead. Then he feels a hand on his back, between his shoulder blades. Louis looks up to see who it is. It's Harry, and he looks apologetic. 

“Hey,” he says tentatively. “Is it okay if I sit down with you?”

Louis nods slowly. He's slightly baffled by the feelings coursing through him. He's tired, completely over it, but he's so happy that Harry's there. He realises he's staring at him when Harry looks away. There are actual flutters in Louis' stomach, making him nervous. Oh, how he wants to touch him. 

Harry must pick up on part of his mood, though, because he tentatively spreads his arms and asks: “Do you want a hug?” 

Louis nods and almost flies up into Harry's arms. Screw looking cool, calm and collected. That's not his style anyway. Louis throws his arms around Harry's (huge, fuck!) shoulders tightly and he shuts his eyes. He feels so much. He feels affection and thankfulness for the boy holding him, but he also feels Harry's abs and pecs through his thin shirt, he feels Harry's buff arms tighten around his waist, and he even feels the faint press of Harry's dick against his thigh. Louis sighs. Harry is too fucking attractive. As Louis slowly gives in to what he's feeling, he buries his face in Harry's neck. Harry's grip on him gets even tighter. 

“Thank you,” Louis mumbles in Harry's ear.

He can feel Harry smile. “Mind if I kidnap you tonight?”

“Where to?”

“My place.”

Louis' mind goes to all the possibilities that 'Harry's place' can hold, and it's like a spark ignites in him. He feels more energetic suddenly and his heart starts beating loudly. 

“Uhm, okay,” he croaks. 

Harry lets go of him. “Come on, then.” 

“Wait. Should I tell my bodyguard…?” Louis wonders aloud.

Harry shrugs. “If you think you need one.”

“Nah, it's fine.” 

Louis follows Harry out to his car, forgetting that there are fans waiting for him. There are, thankfully, two bodyguards still waiting for him as well and quickly by his side to flank him. They get to Harry's car without problem. 

Harry chats away during the ride, while Louis looks out the passenger seat window gloomily. He wonders what it is that attracts him to Harry so much. Suddenly he thinks of something.

“Harry, didn't you say you had some sort of boyfriend? We shouldn't have kissed.”

Harry shakes his head, but keeps his eyes on the road. “We're not exclusive, nor will we ever be. I can do what I want.”

“Why not?”

Harry shrugs. “We fell in love years ago, but we couldn't see each other enough, so we broke it off after a few months. We still act like a couple when we're together, but when we're apart we've agreed to just be single. In some ways it's easier.”

Louis watches as Harry's knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. “You're not happy with that,” he states.

“No,” Harry sighs.

“Why not?”

“I just… I'm pretty sure we could make it work if we really tried, but… it's been so long and we've kind of fallen out of love. It's a shame, we were mad for each other.”

Louis hopes Harry can't hear his heart jump. Barely daring to ask the question, he croaks out: “What if you found someone else?”

Harry scoffs. “Good one. I rarely find someone I like, and it's even rarer for them to like me back.”

Louis' eyebrows find his hairline. “Wha… How? _How_ do you think that?”

While Louis silently goes over all the things he finds attractive or desirable about Harry, Harry finally spares him a glance. He's frowning. 

“It's true. I get rejected a lot.”

Louis tries to push his eyebrows even higher, but it's hurting his forehead, so he relaxes. “Eyes on the road, Styles. Anyway, how invested are you in him right now?”

Harry's looking ahead again. “Haven't seen him in five months, haven't spoken to him in two.”

“And you're fine?” Louis asks disbelievingly. 

“Oddly enough, yeah. I think it might be over for real this time. I don't even mind that much.”

It's quiet for a moment while Louis processes that. Then Harry asks: “Is there someone on _your_ mind?” 

“Yeah,” Louis sighs, wondering how much he can say. “He doesn't seem too interested, though, so I'm leaving it. See what he does.”

Harry just nods. “He a friend of yours?”

“Kind of. No. I don't know, maybe.”

“Must be difficult to make friends in your position. You never know who you can trust,” Harry says. 

Louis shrugs. “That's true, but I'm a good judge of character.”

“Do you trust me?”

“I'm here, am I not? I think I do.”

“That's… kind of sweet that you do. Thank you.”

Louis makes a non-committal sound. He doesn't want to give away too much, and he's still wondering what tonight will bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave your thoughts, I like to know what you think ;) Xxx


	5. Leaps of faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here's a new chapter :D Enjoy!!

The drive to Harry's place takes some time and while Louis tries to make small talk, he keeps getting distracted. He mostly wonders if they'll end up kissing again, but since Harry doesn't have any feelings for him, he also wonders if he should even want that.

“So, where are we going?” Louis asks when they leave the city.

Harry smiles. “I live just outside town. I like the countryside, but it's not really convenient to live far away from London, so I compromised. I now have a cottage just south of London, but not too far.

“Oh,” Louis says. Of course Harry would own a cottage. He probably let it overgrow with roses and greenery as well. “How do you afford a cottage on your own at 21?” he wonders aloud.

“I get a lot of job offers, apparently I'm good at what I do,” Harry explains. “I can choose whichever job pays best.”

Louis kind of wants to tell him just how phenomenal he thinks Harry's work is, but he changes his mind at the last moment. Harry doesn't need to know Louis did some extensive research on him.

“So, they pay you a lot for this job as well?” Louis asks, barely concealing the hint of pain in his voice.

Harry sighs. “Yes.”

Louis nods and looks straight ahead as he feels Harry squeeze his leg. “I'm sorry, Lou, I...”

“No, they should,” Louis cuts him off. “I've been a pain in the arse. It's just… they could have done something useful with that money. Promote my album, for instance. But they hate me, so they make me do stunts instead. 's Not your fault.”

Harry's hand squeezes his leg one more time before it moves back to the steering wheel. “I'd make it better if I could, Louis,” Harry says. “I feel bad for you.”

“Thanks,” Louis says. 

There's a comfortable silence for the rest of the ride between them, both lost in their thoughts, Louis supposes.

“We're here,” Harry suddenly announces, and Louis looks up. The cottage is fucking cute, Louis thinks, as Harry parks in front of it.

It's still light out but there's no one around so Louis doesn't worry about getting noticed as he follows Harry out of the car and into his house. He notices that there are indeed roses climbing up the dark grey stone walls and he shakes his head. They're pink, too. Inside, there's a lot of wooden structures and warm colours. A lot of flowers, as well, and he sighs.

“You have a cute place, Harry. It's very fairy tale romance.”

Harry turns around and looks at him. “Well, I like it,” he says defensively.

“Me too,” Louis says, “it's just very predictable. It's very you,” he explains. He didn't mean to insult him. 

Harry still doesn't look convinced. “Thanks, I guess. Wanna eat?”

Louis suddenly notices how his stomach grumbles and he nods. “Yes, please. What's on the menu?”

Harry grins. “Leftover pasta from yesterday. I always make way too much.”

“Sounds good,” Louis says. He loves pasta.

After dinner they watch tv, but they're talking more than anything else. Sitting close to him on Harry's couch, Louis has to resist the urge to crawl even closer to him. He wants to reach out and touch him. He wants to entangle their legs, stroke his hair, wrap his arms around him. He wants to softly kiss Harry's neck and hold onto him tightly, but he can't and he shouldn't. He does, however, rest his head on Harry's shoulder a few times. Harry doesn't react, but he also doesn't move away or tell him 'no'.

“Are you tired?” Harry eventually asks.

Louis shakes his head. He isn't exactly tired, not anymore. He feels quite serene and content sitting there with Harry, but he doesn’t really know how to explain his need for physical affection. 

“No. Just feeling cuddly, I guess,” he tries. 

Harry softly chuckles. “C'mere,” he says, wrapping one arm around Louis' waist, pulling him closer to him.

Louis curls into him and hopes the blush he feels on his face doesn't actually show. Harry is warm and soft and Louis can't stop himself from thinking about touching him. He briefly contemplates putting his hand over Harry's abs, before he tentatively does. Now he can feel him breathing. It's amazing. 

It all goes downhill from there. Louis starts thinking about kissing Harry's body, occasionally biting him softly, and he imagines Harry's hands all over his own. It doesn't help that he remembers Harry's kiss in great detail from that afternoon. He closes his eyes and he thinks of being pinned up against a wall by Harry. Strong, broad, buff Harry. Yeah, he'd love that.

The thought goes straight to his dick and he struggles to keep his breathing under control so Harry won't notice. Louis imagines Harry pounding into him and holding onto him for dear life.

“Louis?” Harry suddenly asks.

Louis' eyes fly open and he's sure he got caught. Maybe he moaned, or something. He clears his throat. “Yes?”

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“I don't know, you're squirmy. And you just dug your nails into my stomach, for no apparent reason.”

Louis sighs. Maybe he should just go and finish his thoughts privately. Or maybe he should just stop wanking to the thought of Harry Styles altogether. For the sake of sanity.

“Yeah. Maybe I should go. Thank you for being lovely today.”

“You're welcome,” Harry says. He seems slightly confused. “I'll call you a taxi, okay?”

“Yeah,” Louis says. “I'm sorry for being weird, it's just… there are things on my mind. Sorry.”

Harry nods like he understands. He doesn't push for Louis to explain and he just hugs him when the taxi arrives. Louis admires him even more for that. He thanks him again and kisses his cheek, and then he's alone with his thoughts again in the back of the taxi. He manages to refrain from touching himself until he's home, but then he collapses on his couch and pulls down his trousers and pants.

“Oh, Harry...” Louis sighs as he finally gets to wrap a hand around his dick. “Fuck...”

-

The next day, Louis calls Niall for a long Netflix session, and, remembering his promise to him, he invites Ed as well. Niall gets there quickly and he 's loud and bouncy after Louis tells him that Ed is coming over too. He's a nervous ball of energy. Louis makes fun of him, he's never really seen him like this.

Then, when Louis' doorbell rings, he gives an unsure looking Niall the cue to go open the door for him. It's funny how Niall quiets down afterwards. 

He's already blushing and looking down shyly when he comes back in behind Ed, making Louis wonder what happened.

Louis makes sure they can sit next to each other and leaves them to go get drinks. Boisterous laughter fills his house when he's in the kitchen and Louis smiles to himself. This could turn out just right. 

Louis pretends not to notice, but he still sees the way Niall casts lingering glances at Ed's lips, the way he tentatively tries to inconspicuously touch him and fails spectacularly. It's cute. Louis has rarely seen him like this before. Niall's crush must have been much more severe than he'd cared to admit. Louis would have to scold him for that later. You'd think a lifetime of friendship would have earned him Niall's full trust…

Louis can tell that Ed notices Niall's flirting as well. He clearly doesn't know what to do with the cues Niall is giving him, and at one point he looks to Louis for help, but he just shrugs. Ed frowns and turns his attention back to Niall, who is apparently dead set on flirting his perky arse off. His hand hasn't moved away from Ed's thigh for at least five minutes and he's talking to Ed's lips more than anything else while showering him with compliments. Even Louis can feel the nerves radiating off of Niall, though. He wonders what Ed will do now that he's noticed. 

Ed looks amused as he indulges Niall, lets him crowd into his space without actually reacting. Louis supposes it's because he doesn't quite know _how_ to react yet. Louis lets them flirt and, since it seems to be going quite well, tries to interfere as little as possible.

When Ed leaves a couple of hours later – his face flushed and with a wide grin painted on it – he has Niall's phone number and he raises his eyebrows at Louis as if to say 'I know why you did this'. Louis just winks.

“So how was that?” he asks when Niall gets back from seeing Ed out the door.

“Fucking fantastic,” Niall sighs contently, slumping into the cushions of Louis' couch. “I'm glad I stopped hiding it away and told you. Thank you.”

“Nothing to thank me for. 'Bout time I get to see you like this, don't you think? You see my emotional mess every day. Had to get the roles reversed.”

Niall just grins at him before he tackles him to the ground for a hug.

-

The next day, Louis realises that he still doesn't have Harry's phone number. He keeps wanting to text him, but he can't, and instead of doing something about it, he complains to Niall on the phone.

“So, let me see if I understand this correctly,” Niall says after letting Louis tell his story. “You snogged for an entire afternoon, right there in your own living room, and then he took you back to his and nothing happened. You did not ask him for his phone number, and you did not ask him on a date either.” Niall waits until Louis gives an affirmative sound, barely audible. “Louis what the fuck are you doing, mate?”

“You know,” Louis says, “when you put it like that, it sounds kind of stupid.”

“You think?”

Louis can't help but laugh. “So how am I going to ask him for his number now then?”

“You just ask? Next time you see him?”

“Oh. Well, that might work. Yeah. Thanks, Ni.”

Niall hangs up laughing. Louis can't blame him.

It's a few days before he sees Harry again. He isn't too happy about the radio silence between them, and he tries desperately to occupy his mind with other things in the meantime, like his music. He still loves his music and it's a welcome distraction, and he even gets in a few lyrics that don't remind him of Harry every time he repeats them. It's quite the accomplishment, really.

Suddenly, though, there's a stunt day, and Louis doesn't know how to feel. It's been five days. Five fucking days, and he hasn't heard from Harry at all. Nothing. He hasn’t even shown up on Louis' doorstep. And that wouldn't be so bad, if Louis didn't miss Harry so terribly. It seems Harry doesn't miss Louis, though, and that thought makes Louis quite sad. He feels like he maybe opened up too much to him, so he's set on going back to where he started in his interactions with him. To say he's nervous for today, is an understatement.

He uses his nervous energy for dressing up and making sure he looks good, to boost his confidence. He takes three deep breaths before heading out to his local pub where the 'papped outing' is set to take place. He bumps into Harry before he's closed his front door, though. Louis looks him up and down. He looks delicious. Not a good thought.

“Hi,” Louis says coolly. 

“Hi,” Harry says, flashing him a bright smile. 

Louis rolls his eyes. “Excuse me, I have to be somewhere.”

He starts walking in the general direction of the road, but Harry catches up with him. “You're walking?”

“Yes. It's a five-minute walk. Think I can handle that.”

“Oh, nice. We can walk together!” Harry says enthusiastically. 

“I didn't invite you to,” Louis says, decidedly not looking at Harry. He can't quite keep the venom out of his voice, though. 

Harry notices. “Oh, no. What did I do now, Lou?”

Louis really tries to keep his mouth shut, but he just can't. “How about when I finally think I might be able to really start trusting you, you ignore me for five straight days?” he says icily.

“Well, they certainly weren't _straight_ days,” Harry says on a chuckle.

Louis looks at him disbelievingly and sees the twinkle in Harry's eyes die out. “I'm glad you think it's funny. That makes one of us.”

He walks on and Harry catches up with him again a moment later. “I wanted to text you, you know. 's Not like you haven't crossed my mind at all.” 

Louis doesn't say anything, he just angrily walks on. He tries not to let the little twinge of guilt in his heart bother him. 

“Louis.”

Louis stops walking abruptly to turn around and glare at Harry. “What?”

“I don't have, like. Your phone number. Or, you know.”

The guilt in Louis increases. He could have asked Harry for his number as well and he didn't either. “So what are you going to do about it?” he asks, a little more softly.

Harry must have noticed the softer tone because he steps closer, so that the noses of their shoes are almost touching, and he looks Louis in the eyes. 

“May I have your phone number, please?” he asks. Louis hates how sweet he looks, and how dopey his smile is. 

“No, you can't.”

Louis turns back around and walks away, leaving a bewildered Harry behind. He doesn't know why he just did that. It was petty and stupid. It's just that… Harry makes him feel so much and it bothers him. He's never sure he's good enough for him. He's good enough for a snog, apparently, but it doesn't get talked about afterwards and Louis' pretty sure it didn't mean anything. Not to Harry, in any case, and he'll probably leave Harry his phone number at some point today, but right now he wants him to know that he's hurt. Louis does need to figure out what he wants from Harry, though, because if Harry really isn't interested in more than a snog or maybe a fuck, then there's no use in falling for him any further. That will only end up hurting.

Louis hears Harry before he sees him. Inwardly sighing, Louis gets ready to face him again. Maybe he should just brace himself for the entire day, because it seems he isn't getting rid of him any time soon. And Louis doesn't even know if he wants to.

“You know,” Harry says, just as Louis turns towards him, “You're an arsehat, Louis. You haven't contacted me either. This is a two-way street.”

Louis rolls his eyes at the metaphor, but Harry is right, of course. Louis knows that. And fuck, he wants to kiss him. For a moment, Louis is really taken aback by the intensity of his desire to give into his feelings for Harry and tears well up in his eyes out of frustration, because he doesn't know what to do. Then, as quickly as he can manage, he grabs Harry's hand, startling him, and presses a short but soft and tender kiss to his lips, which are hanging half open.

“Did you just...”

“Yes,” Louis cuts him off.

“Why?”

Louis shrugs. “You looked kissable. And you frustrated me, so. Whatever.”

It takes all his willpower to resume walking and not look back at Harry, but Harry is back at his side in no time.

“Do you want to kiss some more?” Harry asks.

“I really shouldn't,” Louis says.

“That's not what I asked.”

Louis almost thinks Harry's being cocky again, and he gets ready to get angry once again, but then he sees the soft and open expression on his face and he controls himself. He feels ashamed for the second time since seeing Harry again. Maybe it's an indication he's doing something wrong. He tries for a smile. Perhaps a more friendly approach would help.

“I do.”

“You sure?” Harry asks.

“Yeah. Whatever. I liked it the other day.”

Harry smiles too, now. “So why shouldn't you? Because we're in public?”

“You know I don't give a shit about getting caught. But they'd fire you if I got caught with _you_.”

Louis leaves out the part where he's making his crush progressively worse by kissing Harry.

Harry shrugs. “Okay.”

“For what it's worth, I'm sorry for being a twat. I'll try harder,” Louis offers.

Harry briefly throws his arm around Louis' waist. 

“I know. I could've contacted you as well. I'm sorry too.”

Louis feels a genuine happy smile creep onto his face, and when he looks to Harry, he's met with bright green eyes and beautiful lips that tentatively shape into a cute lopsided smile. Fuck, he's cute, and so fucking pretty. Louis finds it hard to look away from him. He has to, though, because they've arrived at the pub and walking into doors isn't something Louis is particularly fond of.

Five minutes later, he's back to being an arse to Harry, but he makes sure Harry knows he doesn't mean it this time. He's just keeping up appearances. At one point he grumbles something that makes Harry laugh out loud, and it takes Louis all he has not to start laughing with him and enjoy the sound of Harry's laughter. He swears, everything about that boy is fucking pretty. He can't act that well, though, so he does crack a smile for a moment. He's glad Harry's too busy to capture in on camera and use it for the narrative. 

The 'papped outing' doesn't take too long, thankfully, and Louis is back home soon. He decided to check his social media, and after lurking on Harry's Twitter page for a while, he finally follows him there and on Instagram. He even likes a few pictures. Only minutes later, Harry follows him back and sends him a private message:

**Harry:** _My phone number, if you want it. Xx_

It's followed by Harry's number and a smiley, and Louis melts a little inside, but he doesn't yet do anything apart from saving the digits to his phone. Deciding he should sleep on what to send Harry, he goes to bed and tries to fall asleep without letting his thoughts drift off to Harry Styles. 

It doesn't work. Louis dreams that he's standing on a bridge, looking out over the Thames. He knows, he can _feel_ , that Harry's standing next to him, but he can't turn towards him or move in his direction. He can move anywhere else, just not towards Harry. He can hear him say sweet things to him, things he'd love to hear him say for real, but he cannot move closer to him. It's like there's a physical barrier between them. Louis wakes back up and he's restless for a while after, until he soothes his mind with thoughts of him and Harry kissing. He drifts off easily after that and the dream doesn't come back.

-

The next day, Louis attends a gig of Zayn&Liam, like he promised them he would some time ago. He's allowed backstage and he's escorted upon arrival. He finds them in their dressing room, with Zayn attached to Liam's lips. Louis is just glad they aren't in a more compromising position. He clears his throat loudly to announce his presence, and they break apart when Zayn giggles.

“Yes, Louis?” Liam asks, mock annoyed.

Louis grins widely. “I have come to distract you before you go on stage.”

Liam snorts. “As if you could.”

“You _are_ pretty capable of causing mayhem, Tomlinson,” Zayn says as he climbs off of Liam's lap. “Your little stunt the other day worked quite well, didn't it?”

Louis nods proudly. “Yes. Thanks to you, lads.”

“We did nothing, mate,” Liam says. “We only helped you blow off steam.”

Zayn starts saying something else, but it's then that they have to suddenly move on, and Louis is escorted back out and into the audience. He goes home with them after and once they arrive, Zayn resumes the conversation like it never stopped.

“So, Louis, how are you doing with your whole crush situation?”

“I...” Louis thinks for a moment. “I have accepted that I have a crush, I think. We snogged. Well. First, we kissed when I was really drunk and then he came by to say he was sorry about that and I asked if I could kiss him then, since I was sober. I said I needed to know what it was like if anyone ever asked me about it. So. We did. And then I sent him away over something stupid that he said but I regretted it so I went after him and got him back inside and then we kissed some more. It was intense,” Louis recounts.

He doesn't know what is funnier, Zayn's silent laughter or Liam's look or sheer exasperation. 

“So, uhm, how long ago was this?” Liam asked.

“Uhm, just over a week, I think.” 

“Have you seen him since?”

“Yeah. Saw him yesterday. Got angry with him again for ignoring me for five days straight. Turns out I was at fault as well. We're good now.” Liam is about to say something, probably scold him, when Louis remembers something else. “Oh, and I kissed him again. Just a peck, though, and only one.”

“So you have made a habit out of kissing him. What's his name, by the way?”

“Harry.”

“Okay. So you kiss Harry on the regular, you've admitted that you have a crush and yet you're still fighting with him over everything. You need to sort out your priorities, Louis,” Zayn says. 

“Whatever. He isn't into me anyway. That's why I'm fighting everything. I try not to get hurt.”

“How do you know that? You just said you've kissed multiple times!” Liam shouts indignantly.

“Yes. For shits and giggles. I asked him, he isn't interested in anyone at the moment. It's all just good fun to him.”

“Then what are you doing, Louis?” Liam asks.

“Enjoying his attention?” Louis tries, not meeting Zayn's or Liam's eyes. 

Zayn sighs. “Alright, look. You wanna be with Harry?”

Louis nods slowly. He thinks he does. 

“We'll help you. Won't we, babe?” Zayn asks Liam, nuzzling his face into Liam's neck. 

Liam nods. “But you have to promise to be nice to him, Tommo. Behave like he's your crush instead of your arch enemy. You're plenty charming when you want to be, as you've demonstrated just last week.”

Louis nods. They're right, of course. “Thank you, lads. How do you want to do that, though?”

“Do you have his number?” Zayn asks.

“Yeah.”

“Ask if he wants to come over. We'll make it a double date.”

“You mean now?”

“Yes!” Liam says, tickling Zayn's waist. Louis resists the urge to roll his eyes at them for being cute.

“Okay… I'm not calling it a 'date' though.”

Zayn giggles. Louis pulls out his phone and finds Harry's freshly saved number quickly, before typing out a text:

**Louis:** _Hey, wanna hang out with me and my two friends? X Louis_

He presses 'send' before he can change his mind about anything. He's nervous, and it must show, because Zayn is laughing and even Liam lets a giggle escape his lips. Before he can tell them to shove it, though, his phone beeps with a reply from Harry:

**Harry:** _Hey, uh sure. Tell me where. Xx_

Louis' heart jumps; Harry said _yes_. He quickly sends him Zayn and Liam's address and faces his friends. “He's coming.” Liam cheers.

When Harry's due to arrive, Louis is more nervous than ever. “What am I doing? Isn't it weird that I asked him to come to your house when he doesn't even know you? I mean, I barely even started being civil to him…” Louis says as he paces around the place.

Liam finally steadies him and is about to say something, probably to reassure him, but the bell rings and Louis only squeezes Liam's hand before racing Zayn to the door. Zayn gets there first, though, so Louis just looks on as he opens the door for Harry.

He looks stunning. His curls are wet from a recent shower, his boots are a shiny light blue and he's wearing one of those sheer shirts again, this one an almost golden colour. His trousers and coat are black and Louis' mouth is suddenly very dry. He's fucking _hot_.

Zayn introduces himself and welcomes Harry before closing the door behind him. Louis still hasn't moved when suddenly Harry kisses his cheek. That startles him. “Hi!” he croaks out, and Harry laughs.

“Hello. Cute friend, you have. He's beautiful.”

Louis frowns as something that closely resembles jealousy rises up in him, but then he remembers Liam and he shrugs. 

“You should see his boyfriend.”

There's a hint of humour to the tilt of Harry's mouth and the crinkles around his eyes, so Louis resolutely turns around and walks back into Zayn and Liam's living room. So far, his nerves are only getting worse. He introduces Harry to Liam and the four of them sit down on the huge dark purple sofa. Louis sits down next to Harry, and he pretends not to notice how their legs are touching and how it makes him a little weak in the knees. Liam starts talking about comic books, then, and Zayn breaks out the beers, so Louis relaxed and lets the moment take over his emotions. He feels like he can let go, almost as if he's on stage.

After a little while, he starts flirting with Harry, occasionally tickling or otherwise teasing him. Harry doesn't really react to it at first, but after Louis gets handsy with Liam for telling an embarrassing story about him, he does. He pokes Louis to get him off of Liam, which sends a chill down Louis' spine. Harry also strokes Louis' back and he even plays with Louis' hair at one point.

Louis cannot resist playing with Harry's hair in response, but all he gets is Harry looking down shyly. Playfully, Louis tugs on Harry's curls and he smiles at him when Harry looks back up. Before he knows it, Harry takes a picture of him on his phone.

“What was that for?” Louis asks.

Harry just shrugs. “You looked cute.”

Louis tries to work around the flips in his stomach before formulating a response, but it's hard so he says nothing. He lets go of Harry's hair and clears his throat while he looks to Liam and Zayn for help.

“So, Harry, do you play any sports?” Liam asks immediately. Louis truly loves him.

Louis tunes out the others until his heart stops pounding so loudly, but then he sits back to watch them interact. Slowly, ever so slowly, Harry creeps closer to him – or is he doing it himself? - and Louis' heartbeat picks up again. He wants to kiss Harry, badly. They're in company, though, and he's still not sure Harry is even attracted to him. But then Zayn asks Liam to go help him with something and together they disappear upstairs, so Louis is left alone with Harry for a moment. He doesn't know how he feels about that, especially when Harry starts playing with his hair again. Louis wishes his pulse wasn't so obnoxiously loud.

“Louis?” Harry asks.

“Yeah?”

“Why am I here?” 

And for once, Harry is completely serious, no trace of humour anywhere on his face. So Louis goes for the truth. Well. Kind of.

“Because I wanted to see you. And you said yes.”

“So you do like hanging out with me?” 

Louis' heart breaks a little when he hears the badly concealed pain in Harry's voice.

“Yes, Haz. I think you're a lot of fun.”

Harry smiles and nods, and his gaze wanders to somewhere a little lower on Louis' face. His hand is cupping Louis' head and he swallows. Louis feels like he can't breathe. Harry moves so slowly… yet he's close enough for Louis to be able to count the lines of ink on his chest, and all Louis wants to do is crash their lips together. He tangles his hand in Harry's curls once more to encourage him. Harry is almost there, but just as Louis is about to close the remaining distance, Harry swerves and buries his face in Louis' neck. Louis is stunned for a moment, but tries to comfort Harry anyway.

“I'm sorry,” Harry says after a moment. “I wanted to… but I really shouldn't. I'm sorry.”

Louis doesn't understand any of it, but he lets it go for now. “It's all fine, Harry. Don't worry about it.”

Harry pulls back to look him in the eye and says: “You smell good, though.”

Louis smiles and blushes. “Thanks. I try.”

Harry laughs too at that, and then Zayn and Liam come back in. Empty-handed, so Louis doesn't know what they disappeared for. Maybe just to give him a few moments alone with Harry.

“I think I should go,” Harry announces then, and Louis' heart sinks. Calculating quickly, he decides that there's one way he can prolong his moment with Harry.

“Me, too,” he says. “Can I offer you a ride, Harry?”

Louis tries to ignore Zayn's amused face. Louis doesn't think he's being too obvious. Harry had mentioned earlier that he'd had to get his car repaired and therefore had to come here by tube. Louis' just being chivalrous, really. Harry agrees with a small smile and Louis hugs his friends. 

The car ride is awkward, at first. Louis really wants to know why Harry wouldn't kiss him, but he doesn't dare ask yet and Harry's completely silent. Is he thinking about their almost-kiss too? 

“What's on your mind?” Louis eventually asks, when he can't take the silence anymore.

“You,” is Harry's immediate answer, his voice raw and honest. Louis shivers.

“What about me?”

“It's stupid. I would still like to kiss you, but I can't, so never mind.”

“Why can't you?” Louis has never been more confused. If he wants to, then what's the problem? Louis wants to, as well… He looks over at Harry for a moment and even in the dark Louis can tell that he is blushing. 

“I am not allowed to kiss my clients. By contract.”

Louis raises his eyebrows. “That didn't bother you last week.”

“I know, but I shouldn't have done that, either. I'm so sorry.”

“No, nothing to be sorry for. I enjoyed it thoroughly,” Louis says on a sigh.

He's pretty sure the contract isn't the problem, but he doesn't want to push Harry right now. It's just that they kissed before, no one told them off, and Louis' certainly isn't going to blab about their afternoon together last week if Harry doesn't want him to. It's none of his team's fucking business anyway. And Harry keeps saying that he wants to… It's all just a tad too weird. There must be something else.

When he glances over to Harry again, he is looking down into his lap and frowning. Louis puts his left hand on Harry's thigh and leaves it there, rubbing small soothing circles into Harry's leg, until he feels a hand over his and his stomach flips again because they're essentially holding hands now and this is all very intimate anyway and he got Harry to _let down his guard_ tonight.

For once, Louis can see a little bit of the real Harry. And he thinks he really fucking likes him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think ;) Xxx


	6. A wild emotional ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! If you’re returning to this fic: welcome back! If you’re new, welcome!
> 
> I have started writing again and I will be finishing this story. So have fun!
> 
> Xx Lara

Louis is restless for two days after the 'double date' with Liam and Zayn, because he's trying to resist the urge to text Harry and ask him out. He knows he's being stupid, he does. He can't be upset because he has no means of contacting someone one day, and then refuse to text said person when he does have the opportunity later. It's not that he doesn't _want_ to text Harry, it's just that he has no clue what to send him. Just a silly message? What if he doesn't reply or thinks it's stupid? Maybe ask him to hang out? He already did that, he might sound desperate. Louis tweets a lyric about liking someone unattainable instead.

Eventually, he does in fact work up the courage to send Harry a text. Something normal, he hopes.

**Louis:** _Hey, how are you? Xx_

He immediately puts his phone away, so he won't be tempted to check it every three minutes. It works. His resolve lasts for a whopping ten minutes, when he checks anyway and sees that Harry has already replied to him.

**Harry:** _Hi, I'm fine, thanks. How about you? Want to meet up for lunch, maybe? Xx_

Louis texts back immediately. Of course he wants to meet up for lunch. He'd pretty much like to see Harry for anything, but lunch is a pretty good place to start, he reckons.

They text a little more that morning, and Louis would be lying if he said that he doesn't feel something twist in his stomach every time his phone lights up with a message from Harry.

Their lunch date is sweet. Louis suggests a local bakery where he is a regular, and Harry agrees gladly. Apparently, he used to be a baker. Louis doesn’t dare call it a ‘date’ to Harry’s face, though. He will work up to that. 

As they sit down, Louis glances at Harry curiously. He wonders what Harry thinks all of this is. Just friends hanging out? He doesn’t know. It’s only moments later that Harry hooks a foot around Louis’ ankle. That’s flirting, right? Is it? Louis suddenly can’t remember if that’s something he would do with his friends or not, although they’re probably not the best people for reference.

“So, for how long were you a baker?” Louis asks out of curiosity. 

Harry chuckles. “Two years. I really loved it, but I loved photography even more. 

Louis has trouble not to get lost in his eyes, or his voice, or his dimples, or his curls, that playfully bounce around whenever Harry laughs or shakes his head. 

“So I had to choose: keep baking, or get a photography education, because it would take up all of my time. Wasn’t really a hard decision to make.”

Louis involuntarily smiles at Harry’s happy face when he talks about the things he loves, and he realises that he wants to be one of those things. He wants Harry to smile like that when he thinks or talks about Louis. Fuck, he’s in deep.

Throughout lunch, this continues. Louis lets Harry talk about his life, prompts him with questions, and he marvels at the way Harry answers. It’s weird, Louis thinks. He hasn’t felt this way in a long time, but he wants to know every single detail about the boy sitting across from him. He keeps wondering if Harry might feel the same way. He doesn’t seem as dazed as Louis is, nor as intrigued by Louis’ life, but he does snap a picture of him every now and then, claiming Louis ‘looks cute’ every time. 

Louis knows he’s blushing, but he really likes the way it makes Harry giggle, so he isn’t too embarrassed about it. All in all, it feels like a real date, but maybe he’s just dreaming. It definitely feels like he’s being harshly woken up when Harry doesn’t walk him home to kiss him on his doorstep with the promise of a second date, but instead gets into his car and waves, after only telling him: “I’ll see you, Lou.”

Louis walks home entranced, wondering how he got so caught up in something when he knew beforehand it wouldn’t be a date. 

He doesn’t really watch where he’s going, and he doesn’t hear his name being called until he walks right into a sign and he almost falls over. He stands there rubbing his forehead, when he hears a familiar laugh coming nearer. 

“You look like a right idiot!” Niall shouts at him while laughing his arse off. Louis only grimaces at him. 

“Shut up, Nialler. You do stupid things as well.”

“I don’t usually give head to road signs,” Niall says, still cackling.

“I wasn’t..!” Louis squeaks indignantly. He swears, he hates Niall sometimes. 

“What were you thinking about, mate? Didn’t even hear me callin’ ya.”

“I… I went out for lunch with Harry and I got caught up in a fairy tale dream world that wasn’t there, I guess.”

Niall groans. “Yer in ta deep, mate. Work out if he’s interested, first.”

“I’m trying, Ni, but he’s getting weird. A new weird. I don’t know what to make of it. He almost kissed me the other day, but then said he couldn’t. Because I’m his client and his contract says so.” Louis rolls his eyes even at the memory. 

“That’s bullshit,” Niall blurts out. “Why don’t you just ask him?” 

“I tried. That’s what he said,” Louis sighs.

Niall sighs too. “Well, I _do_ have a date, although I’m not really interested, but I’m going anyway. My mind is just going to be with Ed the entire time.”

Louis chuckles. Right, Ed. He should ask him what he thinks of Niall. “Well, have fun, Ni. Maybe ask out Ed if that’s who you’d rather go on a date with.”

Niall swallows. “I should, shouldn’t I? I might. Anyway, bye!”

“Bye, Niall,” Louis says with a grin.

He gets home without walking into anything else. He decides he should indeed call Ed, to see what he thinks of Niall being so interested in him. He dials the number and Ed picks up quickly. Louis can hear the smile in his voice when he greets him.

“Hi Louis, how are you?”

Louis smiles as well. “I’m good, mate. What about you?”

“I’m great. What are you calling for?”

“I um… I was just wondering if you would want to come over for another film night, like last time?” 

Louis always hopes he is less obvious than he sounds in his head, but he never succeeds.

Ed chuckles. “Just like last time. You mean with Niall.”

It isn’t a question and Louis holds his breath for Ed’s next words. It’s silent for a moment, though. 

“Sure,” is Ed’s reply then.

“Yes!” Louis shouts.

“Lou, I’m not there for you, am I? Ed asks.

“Of course you are. Partly,” Louis says. 

“And partly for Niall. I’m not stupid, Lou. I see him flirting. It’s cute, though. He’s cute.”

“I know he’s cute. I’ve known him my entire life, you don’t need to tell me,” Louis jokes, in an attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy mood Ed created. 

“Yeah. Maybe I should see where this goes when we’re alone. Without you present, I mean,” Ed says.

“Well, maybe you should ask him out, then. He’ll be overjoyed,” Louis tells him honestly. “He likes you a lot, you know. Has for a long time.” Louis swears he can feel Ed blush through the phone. “Tell you what. Film night at Niall’s. I’ll fail to show up. How does tomorrow sound?”

Ed chuckles. “I _am_ capable of asking him out, you know. But, sure. Tomorrow is good. Thanks, Lou. I know you love to meddle.”

Louis grins. “Have fun, then. Bye bye.”

“Bye, Louis.”

Louis hangs up and pumps the air in joy. He really likes setting other people up, and he loves Niall so much, he really wants him to be happy. He immediately texts Niall:

**Louis:** _Film night at yours, tomorrow?_

Niall doesn’t reply until hours later. Probably still on his date, Louis reckons.

**Niall:** _What? Us two? Yeah, sure. Love ya xx_

**Louis:** _I invited Ed, do you mind?_

**Niall:** _Nah, mate. I quite liked it last time._

Louis decides calling Niall is much easier. Niall answers with a chuckle. “Yeah?”

Louis is only slightly unsure. “What if uh… what if I don’t show up? Tomorrow? So it’s just you and Ed? Together?”

Niall huffs out a laugh. “Like a date, you mean? Does Ed know this?”

Louis nods, until he remembers Niall can’t see that. “Yes.”

“And he’s on board?” 

“Yes.”

“Did you use the word ‘date’?”

Louis thinks for a moment.”No, I don’t think so. But we were talking about him asking you out. Don’t worry, he gets the idea. Said you and your flirting were cute, too,” Louis says with a smile. He knows this little piece of information makes Niall very happy. He hears Niall clear his throat and Louis giggles. “So, you have a date tomorrow. How did the one today go?”

“Nah, not my type,” Niall says dismissively.

“Well, have fun tomorrow then. Hope all goes well.”

“Yeah, me too. Love ya, man.”

“Bye, Ni, love you too.”

Louis hangs up and breathes a sigh of relief. He’s glad Ed seems to like Niall.

-

That night, after not having heard from Harry at all since their lunch date – fuck, that seems ages ago – Louis decides to creep on his Twitter. There are more cute tweets of thanks and general niceness that Louis adores, but when he clicks a tweet and reads the responses, there’s a few that catch his attention. Harry doesn’t have a huge following, but it seems like Louis’ own fans have gotten to him, if the usernames are anything to go by, and Louis frowns. Did they get caught? What happened? There’s a lot of talk about Instagram, so he opens up Harry’s Instagram page.

There it is, the culprit. The cause of all the mayhem. A picture of Louis, looking to the side, clearly not paying attention. The colours seem enhanced, and there is no caption to go with it. To explain. Because, in all honesty, Louis doesn’t have the faintest idea what he’s doing on Harry’s Instagram page. It’s not for promo, because then Harry would have captioned it with a thanks to whoever hired him in Louis’ team.

It’s not a previous photo shoot, either. If anything, it looks personal. As if Harry merely took a picture of a friend and posted it online. Louis doesn’t know what to think of that. Are they openly friends, then? He frowns, trying to make sense of this. He contemplates texting Harry to demand an explanation, or just ignoring it altogether. Eventually, he settles on sending Harry this:

**Louis:** _What, am I not worthy of a caption, Harold?_

He’s not sending him any kisses until he is satisfied with the answer. It takes a while for Harry to respond.

**Harry:** _I didn’t know what to say._

Bollocks, Louis thinks. Harry always knows what to say. He never shuts the fuck up. Louis rings him to tell him that, and to prove his point simultaneously. Harry answers at the second ring.

“H- Hi,” he says. His voice sounds even deeper than usual. 

“Hey,” Louis says. “How come you were speechless? ‘Cause I reckon you’re quite the talker, even when it’s really annoying and…” Louis trails off, because he just heard Harry _moan_. If he’s dead silent, he can even make out the sound of something (probably Harry’s hand) gliding over a wet dick, and then Harry whimpers. It goes straight down to Louis’ own crotch. He swallows hard.

“Harry, are you _wanking_?” Another whimper. Louis palms his half hard cock. “What the fuck, while we’re on the fucking phone?” he asks incredulously, but Harry apparently doesn’t relent. In fact, he seems to be speeding up, and Louis grows hot from the sound of it.

“Fuck,” Harry groans. Louis is fully hard now. “ _You_ called _me_ , rem- Ohh! Remember?” Harry says breathlessly, before hanging up, leaving Louis wondering what the ever-loving-fuck just happened. Who in their right mind answers the fucking phone in the middle of a wank? He would think it was creepy, if only he wasn’t so very turned on by it. Hearing Harry moan made his dick throb, and he can still remember the way Harry sounded so broken in great detail.

He starts pulling down his joggers and pants a bit, then strokes himself to the thought of Harry pulling on his own hard cock. He is still in some sort of haze of disbelief, but it fades as he nears his orgasm. He kind of wishes Harry would have stayed on the phone a little longer. He imagines what Harry would sound like while coming, and he is _so close_. Just a few more tugs. Louis arches his back as he spills over his hand and belly, and as soon as he’s able to stand, he goes to clean himself up.

He tries not to think of it again, but he fails miserably. Especially when, half an hour or so later, he gets a text.

**Harry:** _I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have picked up. It was probably too weird and too much. Xx_

Louis is stunned for a bit. Harry feels remorse? Why?

**Louis:** _Don’t worry about it curly had the best wank in weeks xx_

**Harry:** _Jesus Lou we shouldn’t be doing this_

**Louis:** _And what is ‘this’, exactly?_

**Harry:** _Kissing and cuddling and fucking wanking to each other._

Louis’ heart speeds up. Harry was wanking to _him_ too? What does that mean?

**Louis:** _Wait. You were fucking yourself over me?_

**Harry:** _Yeah…_

**Harry:** _Can’t help it Lou you turn me on too much_

**Harry:** _But that doesn’t mean I should have let you hear it. I’m sorry._

Louis’ grin fades. Harry actually _is_ sorry. He shouldn’t be, though, because Louis wants to do this a lot more often.

**Louis:** _It’s okay, I get it, I’m irresistible. But like, can we talk for a bit? Don’t like to have this conversation over text tbh. Xx_

**Harry:** _Yeah. I can come over if you want? X_

**Louis:** _That would be great. See you in a butt. X_

**Louis:** _BIT sorry stupid phone_

**Harry:** _Hahaha on my way_

Louis sighs, but he doesn’t really know what to feel. Is he happy that Harry is apparently attracted to him after all? Is he annoyed because of Harry’s reluctance to act on it? And _if_ , and he doesn’t think they will, but _if_ the two of them should start dating, does he even want to drag Harry down with him into the media hellhole he’s in?

He shakes off his thoughts and tries to busy himself with making tea and making his bed. It’s probably a bit too presumptuous to think that Harry will just fall into bed with him like that, but Louis knows that he would very much like to, at least, and that if Harry is indeed interested he wants to fuck him tonight. What an emotional roller coaster today has turned out to be.

When Harry arrives a bit later, he opens the door and says nothing. He simply cannot find the words, so he just stares at Harry, who blushes.

“Hey,” Harry says, so very softly.

Louis lets him in before he says anything himself.

“Hi. I um… I was a little surprised, Harry. By you.”

Harry smiles bashfully and Louis groans internally. Why must he be so fucking cute? He offers Harry tea and they sit down on the very same sofa they made out on before. 

Louis is still staring at Harry and Harry stares at him until Louis finally breaks the silence, which becomes more and more uncomfortable.

“Please just explain to me how this happened?” he asks Harry softly.

Harry looks down and mumbles something unintelligible.

“Sorry, what was that?” Louis asks.

“I’m feeling things, I guess. For you. And I shouldn’t.” 

He’s still not looking at Louis, who thinks his heart will pound out of his chest.

“So… you thought phone sex would be the best place to start?” Louis laughs, too happy with the admission to truly reprimand him.

Harry grins sheepishly. “Not really, I’m not quite sure why I picked up. Just wanted to hear your voice, I guess.”

“You’re pretty weird, you know,” Louis says. 

Harry finally looks him in the eyes. “Are you… like… do you return my feelings? Maybe?”

“You know, today was not the first time I wanked to the thought of you. Most previous ones were angry wanks, yes, but wanks nonetheless. And ever since you stopped the lunatic grinning, I actually quite like you. So yes, I’m at the very least attracted to you.” After hesitating for a moment, however, he adds: “In fact, I’ve been crushing on you since we met. It’s probably why I was so mean to you, because not only were you making me miserable with your job, but you looked so fucking good doing it.”

Harry chuckles. “You were so rude, but I always knew you were struggling with something, that’s why you didn’t scare me off. Plus, you’re just hot.”

Louis smiles widely. “So… is this where we kiss?”

Harry sighs. “Lou, I told you. We can’t.”

“But I don’t understand why not, unless you don’t want to, of course. But this contract bullshit? It’s just lame.”

Harry eyes him carefully. “You really want to know?”

“Yes, please?”

“Okay then,” Harry says with a sigh. “It actually _is_ in my contract that I am not allowed to kiss you or even touch you in a more than friendly way, but you’re right when you say that I don’t care about that. The day I first turned you down, I got a call from my boyfriend.” 

The word ‘boyfriend’ stings Louis, and he’s ready to protest. Weren’t they broken up? Or apart and free to do as they pleased?

“He’s coming to London in a few days, and he wants to rekindle what we had. I told him I would try, because apparently he’s ready for us to be together for real. I thought it wouldn’t be fair to you to start something and then go off with him a few days later. That’s why I told you ‘no’.”

Louis feels hurt. This is not what he thought would happen at all. Why is Harry playing all these fucking games with him?

“So… let me get this straight. You make me think I stand a chance, blow me off all of a sudden, lie about the reason for that and then continue to fuck with my mind by wanking to me on the phone and telling me you have feelings for me? Is that an accurate summary?”

He feels a lot less calm than he sounds. Harry shakes his head vehemently. 

“I never lied to you! I just didn’t want to hurt you unnecessarily by telling you about Shane. What I told you the other day, about me being through with him, was true! I don’t actually think we will fall back in love, but there’s so much history between us, that I told him we would try so I could be sure about him. I don’t like to leave it open-ended.”

Harry sounds sincere, and he is looking at Louis with puppy dog eyes. He tries not to let it get to him. “Why did you keep playing with my feelings, then?”

“I didn’t really know there were feelings that went deeper than ‘I like to kiss you’. On the one hand I was trying to stop myself from crushing on you by turning you down, but on the other I wanted to indulge these new feelings that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I am sorry, Lou, for being so selfish.”

God, Harry was apologising a lot tonight. Louis isn’t so upset anymore, though. He understands Harry’s situation.

“I promise you I won’t be upset if you make time for Shane next week. But now that you’ve told me all this, do you still think we shouldn’t kiss?” Louis hopes he doesn’t sound too weak. He really wants Harry’s lips on his, and he anxiously waits for Harry’s answer.

But then, Harry moves closer, ever so slowly, eyes focused on Louis’ mouth. Louis parts his lips slightly in anticipation. There’s adrenaline coursing through his veins, because _finally_ they’re doing this again. When Harry’s lips meet his, Louis’ eyes fall shut, and he returns the soft press of Harry’s kiss. How he yearned for this moment, it’s incredible. 

Carefully, Harry opens his mouth to let his tongue slip out, and Louis follows his lead. He wants to sink in the kiss and sink into Harry, but then Harry pulls back. Way too soon. When Louis opens his eyes, Harry is looking at him thoughtfully.

“What’s up?” Louis asks. “Why’d you stop?”

“I just… I realised that if we’re gonna do this, there will be repercussions. With your management team, mostly.”

Louis frowns. “Do they really need to know?”

“I don’t know… you’re the client.”

“They don’t,” Louis decides, before pulling Harry back in. Harry smiles against his lips, and Louis tangles a hand in his hair. 

They make out for a while, until Louis once again gets distracted by his boner. Luckily, this time Harry has one too, and Louis lets his hands roam over Harry’s body. He intensifies their kiss and opens the buttons on Harry’s shirt. Harry sits back to let him take it off, and Louis takes the time to ogle him.

“Jesus, you’re hot as fuck.” 

Harry grins. “You’re allowed to touch me, you know.” 

“Thank fuck,” Louis says as he dives back in. 

While they kiss, he lets himself feel Harry up, until he can’t hold it in any longer and starts kissing down his torso. Harry’s voice is significantly deeper as he whimpers at Louis’ actions, spurring him on. Louis softly bites the ferns on Harry’s V-lines, which he thinks are are obscene, while he zips down Harry’s trousers and slides them down. Harry moans when Louis mouths at his length through his pants. 

Then Louis finally slides Harry’s pants down as well and takes him into his mouth. He sucks him off slowly, deliberately keeping him on edge, and then he stops. He looks Harry in the eyes and says: “Maybe I should stop, huh?”

“What are you talking about? Please, Lou, please,” Harry groans. 

Louis smiles devilishly. “Maybe I should just refuse to kiss you now, or finish this. So you know how it feels.”

“Louis, fuck, why? I told you everything, I thought we were okay!”

Louis turns serious. “Look, I will not play with you like you did with me and I will make you come, but I needed you to know. So now you know.”

Before Harry can respond to that, he has his dick back in his mouth and finishes what he started. He strokes Harry through his orgasm and lets him recuperate before cleaning him up.

“Louis,” Harry starts, but he trails off. 

“Yes, Harry?” Louis asks, ever so sweetly. He’s done playing, he swears.

‘Lou, do you wanna be, like…”

“No, you don’t have to return the favour. I’m fine,” he says with a wink.

“I would like to, though. Are you sure?”

“I’m good.”

“Really? Or are you just still mad at me?”

“I promise I’m done playing. I just don’t do stuff like this with people I don’t know that well. And you’re cute and all but I just need more time to let you get any closer. I’m sorry, that’s how I work.”

“Oh, I didn’t know. Sorry for pushing. It’s probably good to have very clear cut boundaries.”

Harry does sound slightly disappointed, but Louis refuses to let it affect him.

“Are we good, though?” Harry asks, obviously scared of the answer.

“We’re good,” Louis promises. 

But the night leaves him very confused about the whole situation, and when he goes to bed alone later, he lies awake mulling everything over until it wears him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Let me know what you think in the comments below, or come have a chat on Tumblr (Laratjuhh) if you want ;) Xx Lara

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments to let me know what you think.  
> If you want, you can come find me on Tumblr (Laratjuhh) or Twitter (Laravd_S)  
> Hope you enjoy my story Xxx


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